♲︎︎︎

i still think about you

your mama is crying 
          your mama is crying for you 
          your mama is lying 
          oh, what's she trying to do? to you.
          good times are singing
          they sang, they sang
          those times are echoing through me
          through me
          what's the softest way to say
          you took away my friend, my buddy?
          what's the kindest way to say
          you took away my friend?
          what's the kindest way to say
          you took away my friend, my buddy?
          what's the kindest way to say
          the end?

I am hungry
          I have been hungry
          I was born hungry
          What do I need?
          I am something
          I have been something
          I was born something
          What could I be?
          There is a light that I can see
          But only, it seems, when there's darkness in me
          There is a dream that I sometimes see
          That only appears in the dark of sleep
          I am waiting
          I have been waiting
          I was born waiting
          I was born waiting for that something
          Just one something
          I was born something
          I was born
          There is a light, I feel it in me
          But only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me
          There is a dream and it sleeps in me
          Keeps me awake in the night
          Crying, "Set me free"
          And I wake every night
          Crying, "Set me free"

          In the deepest ocean
          The bottom of the sea
          Your eyes
          They turn me
          Why should I stay here?
          Why should I stay?
          I'd be crazy not to follow
          Follow where you lead
          Your eyes
          They turn me
          Turn me on to phantoms (way out)
          I follow to the edge of the Earth (way out, way out)
          And fall off
          Yeah, everybody leaves (way out)
          If they get the chance (way out)
          And this is my chance (way out)
          I get eaten by the worms
          And weird fishes
          Picked over by the worms
          And weird fishes
          Weird fishes
          Weird fishes
          I'll hit the bottom
          Hit the bottom and escape
          Escape
          I'll hit the bottom
          Hit the bottom and escape
          Escape

shits fucked
          but what can i except
          so what?
          im going to die
          so what?
          tomorrow could be sunny or to green 
          so what?
          that doesn't matter
          

Time has proven
          That fooling yourself into believing a lie
          Is the most effective way
          To deal with things you have no control over
          Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
          Overanalyze every single word you hear
          "Was this a sign that things were going wrong"
          No no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them
          Stay up every single night staring at your phone
          Either attempting to gather up the courage
          To turn these demons, these constant reminders
          Of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
          Or praying just for one second you could feel
          The warmth of equally returned love
          Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
          Always bring your notebook, never stop writing
          Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
          Watch them smile as you get in your car
          Talk down on yourself whenever possible
          My life is shit because I deserve it, right?
          You must have done something real bad
          Its nearly impossible for you to cry now
          Avoid your friends for weeks even though
          They're the only sense of consistency you have
          Left in your life, if they really wanted
          To see you they'd come, but they won't (who cares?)
          Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
          Watch as you begin to take a backseat
          To the world around you, don't fight it
          Become a secondary character in your own motion picture
          But most importantly
          Drown every single one of your feelings
          In old stolen rum
          Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat
          Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach
          You're drinking bottled love now
          You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness
          You just needed to find a way to talk to it

I'm just really fuckin selfish and really fuckin lost

There is a house built out of stone