𝓂 ⚘

hi hi hi, just popping up to give a quick update on my stories (both future and the two on hold) and just life in general. 
          
          as of right now, i am not planning on continuing wonderland or villain any time soon. i used to be able to start a story and finish it with little to no struggle with motivation, but lately i've just had none at all. as for future stories, i have a couple in mind that i really want to write, but the motivation isn't there.
          
          i work a job five days a week with split days off on fridays and sundays. it's exhausting. it drains the life out of me, so when i am off all i want to do is lay around and do nothing. it's just gotten to the point where the thought of writing feels like a chore, which makes me sad because i used to really love it. 
          
          i've been doing a lot more reading - REAL books that i can hold, not fanfictions. i have friends now. i might get a girlfriend (there's this girl at work who i've had a crush on for almost 4 months, and i can feel that things are going in the direction i want them too. she's on vacation rn and she asked me before she left if i wanted her to bring me anything back, and my mom said that that was her way of marking me). 
          
          i feel no need to escape into fictional worlds through writing, which was originally why i started in the first place; because i was lonely and the shows/movies i wrote fanfics for brought me comfort. 
          
          i'm not saying that i'm gonna stop writing forever. stranger things season 5 is coming out later this year, so lovergirl and mirrorball will be coming back (which i'm really excited about, i miss writing brooke and wren). writing is and always will be something that i enjoy, i just need time to fall in love with it again.

work has been so boring tonight and i still have two more hours to go. i just wanna go home and read :(

no one understands what i would give to spend an entire day with katie mcgrath. we'd just talk about books, drink tea, and play with our dogs the whole time. she'd probably have some really great life advice, she's so wise. it would heal me

one of my closest friends is leaving to join the marines. he goes to the hotel today and flies out tomorrow. last night was the last time our friend group (there's four of us counting me) hung out. he comes back in three months, but only for ten days. it didn't hit me until about 20ish minutes ago, and now i'm having a whole mental breakdown in the bathroom. 
          
          i'm really gonna miss him. he was the first real friend i made in over a year and if it weren't for him, i wouldn't be where i am now. it's because of him that our group was formed and it's because of our group playing matchmakers that i've made the progress that i've made with my crush. i know he won't be gone forever, but it's really gonna feel like it, especially when he leaves for five years after his 10 days back. 
          
          i just wish i could hug him one last time and give him a proper goodbye. the one last night felt too rushed :(

I wanna read your Lena fanfic so bad. The wait is so long. 

okay hear me out . . . i'm not gonna give too much away but what if one of my hp oc's returned in a wicked fanfic? (i already know which one it's gonna be, it's gonna be a bit of an au)

chopped my hair to look like robin buckley's, best decision i've ever made. i'm going full gay now #soundslikeatopbutisreallyabottombecausewomenaremagical

being a lesbian is so fun because me and my guy best friend(s) can talk about girls together :) 
          
          it's so nice cause they don't even get annoyed with me no matter how much i talk about my crush. they're always really happy for me whenever i have something new to share with them about what i'm hoping is progress

on a wednesday on new years day, i watched it begin again. happy new year, cheers to 2025 <3