this message may be
offensive
But they do bother me, and they take away all motivation I have to write at all. I see comments about how many kids Jem has had/would’ve had/have almost had and how it’s too many, they should stop, it’s ridiculous, etc, and I just... it’s such a silly thing to get so worked up about but here I am, so sick of seeing the same comment over and over again.
Ffs, I wrote the first book over a year ago. I can’t take back all that storyline. I can’t undo those extremely important things that happened to her. I can’t. If I’d known that it would be so fucking contested, I would never have given her a single miscarriage despite how integral to her personality and outlook on motherhood in general those miscarriages and still births were. I haven’t written in weeks because I can’t convince myself that I actually can continue with the planned storyline. Anytime I try, I get so anxious that I physically cannot write. I wish I could take out all of the miscarriages and rewrite the entire story to just have Aubrey and Lilian, but even then people would complain about her having two kids. They’d find a way.
I know I have to just... accept that people will always find something to complain about, something to dislike, and I know that not everyone will like my story but... it’s disheartening and frustrating bc I’ve put my heart and soul into trying to make this story good. I know that a lot of people really love it, and the amount of people complaining is minuscule compared to the amount of people saying they love the story, but the complaints hit harder. They hurt more than the love feels good.