-urfavZenN

sometimes i just sit and wonder how different things would be if the events in my life took a different path, i wonder if it would be better or worse. 
          	i feel a strange sense of loneliness and longing but i don’t know what for, i worry for things i shouldn’t have to, things that should be left in the past. 
          	i want to be a better version of myself from who i used to be, someone who isn’t as helpless, and someone who is more reliable, but who knows when i’ll get there.
          	i wish for the people i cared and still care about to live as happy as they can be and find people and thing that bring them happiness, peace, and love, and for that to come true is what i look forward towards most, no matter who it is or my relationship with them. 
          	i just wish some things weren’t as they are now and for there to be more solace in my own heart and others who wish for it.

-urfavZenN

sometimes i just sit and wonder how different things would be if the events in my life took a different path, i wonder if it would be better or worse. 
          i feel a strange sense of loneliness and longing but i don’t know what for, i worry for things i shouldn’t have to, things that should be left in the past. 
          i want to be a better version of myself from who i used to be, someone who isn’t as helpless, and someone who is more reliable, but who knows when i’ll get there.
          i wish for the people i cared and still care about to live as happy as they can be and find people and thing that bring them happiness, peace, and love, and for that to come true is what i look forward towards most, no matter who it is or my relationship with them. 
          i just wish some things weren’t as they are now and for there to be more solace in my own heart and others who wish for it.

-urfavZenN

i do still check up on you every now and then btw, and i could never hate you, the whole reason i kept talking about him to you was in hopes you would hate me cause i knew you didn’t like the situation, and my messed up thought is that maybe it would help you move on at the time. you don’t have to blame yourself for anything or feel bad for anything really because i knew it was coming and either way it wouldn’t be fair to him yk. and to answer your thought i hated him at first because i knew he liked me, i only grew to like him because of how he made me feel happy when he felt nothing. i am really sorry thought for putting you through all of that it was was messed up of me, i really do feel bad. i just hope that things will get better and easier for you, i know you have the strength to get through this. i’m still here if you need to rant ^^

-urfavZenN

i really am sorry for making you feel that way, i really do wish you well, and i know, it’s okay
• Reply

-violetrv

@-urfavZenN sorry for never responding to this. i saw it i just didn't know what to say and I still don't really but I'm still sorry about ghosting you so
            i do get your logic ig but from my standpoint it was kind of hell and not cool lol, especially since I literally can't hold grudges or hate you
            it's okay and thanks for the offer but idk
• Reply

-urfavZenN

forgot i had wattpad installed but i’m doing really good recently and my bf honestly treats me the best anyone has and is one of the main reasons i’m doing so well recently, other than that nervous for school and i think imma take it seriously this time, that’s all probably won’t use wattpad for a while again but stay safe everyone

-urfavZenN

oh yeah he gave me his ring that he always wears and a hoodie when i last saw him, i swear he’s so sweet and i gave him a stuffy rat and we named it freaky bro cause rock on freaky bro  yk
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