hi my loves, this goes out to all my readers and fellow writers who might share the same struggle as me.
I was skimming through "For the one who stayed" - rereading it and stuff, and the incredible love and support from you guys made me realize what an actual ass I am for leaving you like that, book unfinished -- on a cliff hanger (literally one chapter away from finishing it). The immense support and enthusiasm emitting from the comments made and make me feel so loved and seen. Thank you so much for that.
But the thing is, I also realized that I don't like my book. More precisely, I don't like reading it and I don't like writing it. Not anymore. And that's when I ask the question: is it worthy to spend time writing a piece of work while I don't feel joy doing so? That would be a work of compulsion, a book of duty rather than a book of love. And I want to write from love. My love for Peaky Blinders and its characters, my ocs and my own added storylines, my passion. And I honestly think I found that with "The wildest of them all". Don't get me wrong, I loved writing "For the one who stayed" and Effy is still my favourite oc, but I can't write like that anymore, only if I force myself. And I really don't think that's fair.
I don't think I'll ever continue "For the one who stayed" -- not like how I used to. But I will finish it, because I have the last chapter half-written already, I had it written like a year ago, but for the life of me I can't finish it properly.
Now, this isn't a final farewell, not at all!! I'm just saying goodbye to an era that was important to me once.
I love you guys so much, especially the readers who made me feel seen and talented with their continuous feedback and support and love.
okay, I think I'm finished haha
AND please don't forget that us, writers, are human as well.
thank you again to those who read this brainfart of mine lmao