Kit Kat

I just wanna give up and die. I miss her so much that I can barely breathe 

Sometimes I feel over depressed and try really hard to be very asthetic about it. Other days I feel so flabbergasted that I just wanna talk about girls and type in a bunch of random letters in a sequence that isnt actual words and is probably me making a bunch of loving scribbles on my screen
          
          
          

sometimes i get tired of being sad and angry all the time, but then i remember that when im not sad and angry im really awkward and uncomfortable and as much as i love everybody i really dont know how to properly communicate with other human beings in the world because i am a literal personification of a lesbian blueberry

i fell back into that hole you left me to rot in, you know the one, i dont have to explain because it was six feet under and it where you left me, i went there today, i fell inside and the dirt and muck suffocated me and i was only there for a second, i go there almost every other day, as much as i deny it, i go to that hole, and i sit at the edge, staring down at the bottom, but at this point i cant tell what im feeling, is it fear? or absolutely nothing at all, the emotionally yet personified black whole that is the only symbolism of the place you ripped my heart out at?

ive got to many words engrossed in this poisoned throat of mine, and its all for you, but you didnt want it then, and yet youre still staring at me like you really wanna know what i gotta say. but lets go back to reality today, just this once lets wake up, so i can remind myself once again that you already know, and you still dont care, and as much as you act like it, you will never, ever care. but i could go on forever, because what if that isnt reality, what if reality was the place with just you and me, the one i deny and the reality i call reality is just a dream, and that my dreams are reality themselves that i deny and call a dream, when they are reality? oh, how irrelevant of me, i forgot that you didnt like when the topic drew away from you, when i talked about anything but you, but you didnt like much about me did you, love?