@13daysofbadluck
It all won’t stop
It won’t go quiet
It won’t stop
I want it to stop
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
I hate it
I hate this
Why
Why
Why
I’m going to vomit
I can’t
Stop
Stop it
The room quiets
Eyes on the happy couple
Hands shaking with excitement as they grasp the smoke bomb
Fingers faulted when they hook the rings
On one side praying for blue because there’s no love for a girl in his heart
The other prays too, because why would she want to bring a baby into this world that will face what she has
Why give life to a being that will have no father,
That in the eyes of other, will have no purpose
Why summon life if it’s doomed to suffer in a system tipped to another
A life that will end short after the sound of a gun on night when she’s alone
One that will be forced to run home after the party because god forbid her shoulders are left exposed
A life that will pick up the pieces for another’s failure
Bloody, bruised, beaten, bashed, bludgeon
By a society that favors the other half
On the count of 3
Hold your breath
They pull the pins and shut their eyes
Pop
As the pink flutters out
Their friends clap and cheer
The husband walks off
Congratulations
It’s a girl
Is it bad that the only thing that keeps me going is to remind myself that one day I’m going to off myself.
Am I a bad person? I mean I know I am but If I die is that selfish? Is it wrong to end my suffering? Is it really equivalent to murder? Are my abusers feelings more important than mine?
It’s funny. My school is so taxing that I can walk around with my sleeves pulled and and no one bats an eye.
It’s expected there
I think I’m going crazy
There’s something about my birthday that just makes me want to jump off a cliff.
It’s amazing how easy it is to tell someone that you’re not sad, you just have a sad face. How easily they believe it.