1MeepMeep1

I don't understand why my mom is always so mad I'm sitting here trying not to cry in a landermat because she got all pissed off that I went on my phone for like a minute not even so I turn back on my book cuz it stopped and then she said it's not the end of the world yet we still have 5 more years like thank you for reminding me in public of all places that you get to make my life hell  for 5 more years not like I want to cry even more now not like the only thing stopping me from smashing my head against the wall is the amount of people around nooo no at all
          When she dies and I get over the initial grief I'm going to spray pain bitch over her name on her grave 

So I might be relapsing into my not so fun eating habits but in a way!
          (I am lying to myself and you but like don't report me to wattpad for being depressed again I'm doing in a healthier way then last time!)
          Anyways I need to go look up skinny people on Pinterest and cry bye bye 

Thank god for me keeping money in my phone case I just spent 15 minutes looking 4 4 dollars before I remembered because I can't sleep and have school in the morning and I'm not aloud to drink coffee but thank god my school sells it I will be buying at least to cups 

My mom got upset that I ate some chicken in the fridge instead of the dinner she had on the stove and was all like, "Do you think that's appropriate, don't fucking be Ignorant like that ever again." Like girl, you know damn well if my options were to eat that or starve, I would pick starve I do pick starve, every time so stop acting like it's a surprise that I don't like it and won't eat it, SMH 

Hey broski- just checkin in on ya! If ya ever need someone to rant to, I'm your man :)

And the bitch just had the Autocity to say "i still love you through" Like he wasn't just blowing up at me for no reason and kept screaming after I was sobbing and had a headache 

I fucking hate my family I was doing was trying to grab myself a piece of fucking cheesecake from the fridge and my grandfather told me to put a plate away I said I know and he started screaming at me for no reason and cutting me off to screaming some more every time I tried to speak so now I'm sitting in my room crying as I eat my my cheesecake 

My mom went through the music I listen to I'm in trouble once I get home hehe 

I'm probably going to have the next chapter out in the following week, even though wattpad is making me want to die 
           Also didn't mean to make the last thing an announcement sorry about that 

I'm wearing a oneiz to school cuz it's Halloween and it's my costume and my anxiety is spiking and I low-key want to cry because I feel like cuz I'm in high-school I'm supposed to serve cunt and not wear a oneiz so I just feel out of place and childish cuz the 'time of year your aloud to be a freak confidence' isn't working cuz the vibes aren't right and it doesn't feel like Halloween already... yippee