Chillin' with my homies at the Home Depot
Buyin' screws and nails, manly shit you know!
My homie says to me "What kind of drill you want?"
So I said I wanted one right in the ass
What?
I'm not gay
I'm not gay
It was a joke guys, come on
I'm not gay
I like vag more than a pornstar scandal
But can I get the drill with the bright pink handle?
Playin' tackle football with my homies in the park
Had to wrap it up cause it was gettin' dark
The other team was looking straight scary as shit
But my quarterback, he ain't having none of it
He looked at me and told me no matter where I was at
My priority job was to protect the sack
So fourth down, he bends over and yells "Hike!"
So I went and grabbed his balls!
Uhhh...
I'm not gay
I'm not gay
I'm just doing my job, step off
I'm not gay
It's not like I was purposefully tryin' to feel them
I just care about the safety of your future children
I'm not gay, I'm not gay
Quit telling me that, man
I'm not gay
Next time I'll just let your balls get mangled, son
P.S. I didn't know that you were so well hung
Strollin' with my homies in West Hollywood
Wasn't my idea because I'm not gay
Dude walks by me with his shirt off, and I was like
"Damn bitch, you fine!"
...Fuck
I'm not gay guys
That ain't me
I'm just comfortable with my sexuality
So I can admit when I see a guy
Who has a handsome face, and pretty eyes
And a rock hard chest, and rippling abs
And the tightest ass, and those sculpted calves
And those bulging quads, and the perfect bod
And ohh my god, take your pants off
Um.
Fuck it
I'm gay
I'm fucking gay
I'm the dude wearing nail polish yelling "Hey!"
I'm the dude at the party who'll grab your butt
And when you turn around and look at me I'll be like "What?"
Yeah!
I'm gay
I'm gay
I'm hella gay
I watch Zac Efron movies every Saturday
And normal self expression doesn't suit me either
That's why my degree is in musical theater
I'm so gay man...