I think I knew for a long time now that I don't actually have feelings for A anymore. But I like the idea of it. Having to fall in love with someone without knowing it. Slowly getting myself into a fantasy without the risk of worries and fights. Smiling. Daydreaming. Clueless. And I would keep this feeling until I get to tell it someday and when I do it's gonna be to thousands of people, including him.