UNiceKeepGoing

Hello this is my first try so just tell me if there's anything wrong and please tell me if it's ok or not  thanks 
          http://my.w.tt/UiNb/7E3UYfmpHA

Hello I'm actually not good at making stories but I'll try to make one and it's gonna be my first so I'm sorry if it's not good I'm going to make it sooner