4ever-mine

Hey guys, chapter 3 is updated : )

jacwilt

I'm sorry for the criticism, but I'll be blunt. 
          
          First, the plot. Personally, I found the plot of your story, The Tower, is interesting but a bit too hard to understand, and the story seemed dark. Lighten up the story for a bit by adding some joke and comedy (I myself is also having a hard time with this).
          Also, each of the paragraph seemed so long. Try to get it shorter or break the paragraph shorter so that it would seem more readable because people would find this boring. Break the speech paragraph, so that it would not seem dense.
          
          Second, the punctuation mark of the speech. Altogether, seeing the story, the speech seemed too bare without any punctuation. Try to make the emotion of the characters more understandable.
          
          Once again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. But with this, I hope for you to improve more for the story.