HERE IS MY FEEDBACK ON YOUR FIRST CHAPTER OF YOUR BOOK-- I hope I helped! :)
So far, all the description is really helpful, I can definitely visualize her in my head. Ok, so right now the story is definitely pulling in my interest, which is good. One thing I am suggesting is, split up your long paragraphs into shorter snippets so readers can keep track of what's happening. Also, if the paragraph is too long, while readers are commenting, it might get confusing what they are talking about in the whole scene. Another thing: your wording gets a teensy bit awkward at times, for example, "Inside was our driver James." Right here, you might want to reword it to something like: "James, our chauffeur, was waiting inside." (REMEMBER, these are just tips, you totally do not have to follow what I'm saying, cuz it's your book, not mine. :) ) You're a great writer with a very creative story-idea.
Love, Kasey
