hey, el here.
i need to apologise and explain my purpose of this account as a whole.
1. i'm sorry i didn't particularly update enough to people who read my stuff. i'm ashamed at my lack of uploads and i can't really give a valid reason upon why.
2. i'm sorry for how badly i write haha, i'm trying harder to improve and i feel like all of your expectations are being extremely let down by how incapable i am at pretty much anything. writing used to be an enjoyable aspect of life, i'd frequently write and i used to be decent-ish. and i'm really disappointing those who expected everything i used to be.
to resolve this issue, the best thing to do is do the opposite of what i have been doing, although rarely. not post. yes, for the time being, i feel like not posting will be best. i have to balance writing for fun with writing because i have to, and that's seriously the biggest challenge ever for me. I have exams coming up too, so i really can't prioritise posting right now. you all deserve so much better than my sorrowful excuse for writing and, although it's very melodramatic what i'm trying to say, it's the closest to true i'll ever reveal. i'm not happy with myself, so my writing would reflect how i felt, and overall it'd just make me feel bad. poor mood = poor performance and poor performance brings it to a worse mood. i was contemplating to write this, as feelings pass, but i feel like for now, until i find out who i am and try to resolve my seemingly endless pit of emotions, a lazy break (as i literally wrote bare minimum to begin with!) should do well.
I could never be an author lol
-E
10:14pm
9/9/2017
