Salam ukhti❤
I'm just giving an honest review of your stories, I hope you don't mind ☺
Pro's: there is this skill of making the readers imagine and live the story. You've got that ❤
Con's: errors we all make and it's normal. You can edit once you complete your work.
About the paragraph, I guess this long paragraph with the whole story won't attract many readers. So in Sha Allah, if you get some time try making paragraphs and making the few conversations between the characters.
As a reader, I love your work and you gotta horror genre in your cells thou ☺☺ that is a joke by the way ☺❤☺❤☺❤
Hope you have a wonderful day mate ❤☘
Um_humairah ❤