(I do not ship either Dorlaena or Chaolaena, I ship Rowaelin, but this was hilarious to write)
There was once a pair of high school sweethearts, and their names were Celaena and Dorian. When they graduated, they wished to go to the same university but Celaena had to go to a school on the east coast and Dorian had to go a school on the west coast. Despite their distance, they still agreed to be faithful to each other and spend any time they had together.
As time went on, Dorian would call Celaena, and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he texted her, she would take days to return his messages.
Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't want this and increased his calls, letters and emails trying to win back her love. But Celaena now had a new boyfriend named Chaol and wanted to get Dorian off her back.
So Celaena took a Polaroid photo of her giving Chaol a blow job and sent it to Dorian with a note saying "I found a new boyfriend, please leave me alone."
Well, needless to say, Dorian was heartbroken but even more so, was pissed.
So he wrote on the back of the photo: Dear Mom and Dad, having a GREAT time at college, please send more money for my education!
Then Dorian mailed the blow job photo to Celaena's parents.
