AHHHHHHHH000

So today after my annual mini-breakdown, I Realized something.
          	
          	
          	
          	The walls I build aren't to keep others out, or protect myself, they're to protect others. I create the walls and use them as a prison, hence why whenever someone hurts me, my mind berets me with hate, getting angry at myself, and finding the world the victim, and me the antagonist. For instance if my mom is angry at me, I'll get horrendously angry at myself, saying "Why do you always have to make everyone angry?! Why can't you make them happy?! Why are you like this?! Why are you so selfish?!" And I'll believe it. But then, as my nature persists, wanting to be free of my prison, I'll try and make everyone happy, I'll be the opposite of the picture I have painted of myself, I'll try to be selfless, I'll try to be kind. I try to get my friends to leave my words be when they see me being hateful to myself, as it IS the way I cope, the more anger directed at me, the more I'll be a 'better' person. 
          	
          	
          	
          	I know this isn't healthy, nor is it how I'm supposed to handle things, but, it is the only way I know.

megh23

```I met you one day
          
                  Now I have you as a friend.
                  I
                  may
                  not
                  be
                  the
                  most
                  important
                  person
                  in
                  your
                  Life
                  But
                  I
                  just
                  hope
                  that
                  when
                  you
                  hear
                  my
                  name
                  you
                  smile 
                  &
                  say
                   THAT'S MY FRIEND!!!    Aftr some years ,when we would be
          
                   running 4 money,
          
                   busy with jobs,
          
                  Just imagine..
          
                  If 1 midnight,
          
                  suddenly u wake up from sleep n find urself surrounded by ur friends wishing u happy birthday. 
          
                  That would be the magical moment when TEARS would come out of happiness....
          
           Send this only to those  
            
                                IDIOTS
          
           whom u never want to lose (even me, if i'm one of them)
          
                  And see how many come back
                
          
                  Send this to all your friends including me..
          
                  no matter girl or boy.....
          
              If u get back
          
              1= u r lonely
          
              3= u r the best person
          
              6=u are famous
          
              9= u r really lucky..
          
          
          ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
          and Happy Miraculous day!
          even if u dont watch it!!

Disguisedwarrior

```I met you one day
          
                  Now I have you as a friend.
                  I
                  may
                  not
                  be
                  the
                  most
                  important
                  person
                  in
                  your
                  Life
                  But
                  I
                  just
                  hope
                  that
                  when
                  you
                  hear
                  my
                  name
                  you
                  smile 
                  &
                  say
                   THAT'S MY FRIEND!!!    Aftr some years ,when we would be
          
                   running 4 money,
          
                   busy with jobs,
          
                  Just imagine..
          
                  If 1 midnight,
          
                  suddenly u wake up from sleep n find urself surrounded by ur friends wishing u happy birthday. 
          
                  That would be the magical moment when TEARS would come out of happiness....
          
           Send this only to those  
            
                                IDIOTS
          
           whom u never want to lose (even me, if i'm one of them)
          
                  And see how many come back
                
          
                  Send this to all your friends including me..
          
                  no matter girl or boy.....
          
              If u get back
          
              1= u r lonely
          
              3= u r the best person
          
              6=u are famous
          
              9= u r really lucky..
          
          
          ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

AHHHHHHHH000

So today after my annual mini-breakdown, I Realized something.
          
          
          
          The walls I build aren't to keep others out, or protect myself, they're to protect others. I create the walls and use them as a prison, hence why whenever someone hurts me, my mind berets me with hate, getting angry at myself, and finding the world the victim, and me the antagonist. For instance if my mom is angry at me, I'll get horrendously angry at myself, saying "Why do you always have to make everyone angry?! Why can't you make them happy?! Why are you like this?! Why are you so selfish?!" And I'll believe it. But then, as my nature persists, wanting to be free of my prison, I'll try and make everyone happy, I'll be the opposite of the picture I have painted of myself, I'll try to be selfless, I'll try to be kind. I try to get my friends to leave my words be when they see me being hateful to myself, as it IS the way I cope, the more anger directed at me, the more I'll be a 'better' person. 
          
          
          
          I know this isn't healthy, nor is it how I'm supposed to handle things, but, it is the only way I know.

AHHHHHHHH000

(I know for a fact I'll need more than one part, so part 1)
          Okay so someone has noticed the fact that I dont sleep much, and they have dug in a little more about both my mental and physical health. Now, I assure all of you guys I'm fine, and Well. 
          
          Onto the real reason for this. (This is a bit serious, and different from my usual posts. Please do not take any bit of this as me telling you what to do, I'm just worried about all of you.)
          
          Okay, so first of all, mental health. You guys have no idea how important this is. It not only makes you feel better mentally, it actually has physical benefits too, such as better blood pressure/ heart rate, less stress can reduce acne and the such, and this is an overused term but it's true, being thankful, for what you have can increase your energy. Now, I've learned that, just smiling more in general (albeit not entirely good for your mental health. I get into this More later on.) makes you happier, it releases more serotonin in general. Getting sleep is also crucial to a healthy thought process, as without your mind having a straight line to follow, it'll being going to the darker places of your mind. Working out more (as an athlete myself, I know this for a fact. I am a runner, I do track and cross country, I did basketball at a point but my teammates hated me, and I wasn't going to let go of the good mental health I had worked so hard to create so easily) or just being more proactive, can release more positive chemicals into your brain. It IS healthy to get your adrenaline running once in awhile, but don't do something dangerous, okay guys?
          
          Now onto other bits, now, crying is actually great for your mental health. Although it may make you feel weak (as it has for me, emotions in general still make me cry. Happiness is the only emotion I can have without me crying during/afterword) it is actually making your mental health feel better, also as it releases calming chemicals in your brain, and it releases melatoni. (Part 2 -->)

AHHHHHHHH000

Melatonin*
            
            Please forgive any spelling mistakes, and how I cut it off, I had reached 2000 characters.
Reply

AHHHHHHHH000

Humans......
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Just-
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Sleep, please-
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Just take care of yourselves, you're worth it-
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Just-
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Don't listen to the people who tell you negative things, they're liars. They want to break you down, and take away what makes you different. Don't let them. What makes you, you, is special, and sacred. Don't let it be taken away.
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          On a less serious note, I took the MBTI test a few months ago, and got INTJ-T. My personality was exposed, because I TRY not to manipulate people, make huge plans, and act like I'm at the  same level of intelligence as my peers, but, i was called out.
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Goodbye, and have a happy existence!

AHHHHHHHH000

Sleep, child, sleep.
Reply

flingpossestan

@AHHHHHHHH000 me: mhm yes i agree you humans need to sleep and take care of yourself 
            also me: reading this at 12am
Reply

AHHHHHHHH000

*~inhale~* 
          
          
          Why....
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Do you need a therapist........?
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          I can find you one-
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          On topic tho.....
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Why are people following me? (like, follows, not actually )
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          I'm boring. ;-;
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Just curious my frens, have an amazing day and.......
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Please, I beg of you. Get some sleep, eat, take care of yourself! Please!

AHHHHHHHH000

Ah, my parents forgot I had a tablet, so now I just use it whenever
Reply

WeirdAs__BiTrash

@AHHHHHHHH000 my therapist is my dog ✨
            
            
            
            
            Also once it hits my bedtime my devices shut off so I have to sleep ;-; although I will draw and read sometimes
Reply

AHHHHHHHH000

Yes......... 
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            I DEFINITELY get sleep too.....
            
            
            
            
            
            
            No you don't.
            
            
            
            Yes I do.
            
            
            
            Prove it, sleep tonight.
            
            
            But I want to talk to people on wattpad-
            
            
            Too bad. School starts tomorrow.
            
            
            
            
            Buzzkill
            
            
            
            
            
            Idiot
            
            
            
            
            
            Sh¡t head
            
            
            
            
            
            
            Dumb @$s
            
            
            
            Try me I'm smarter
            
            
            
            
            
            We're the same person.
            
            
            
            
            
            TOO BAD LET'S GO
            
            
            
            
            
            Jesus Christ this idiot..
Reply

AHHHHHHHH000

So, uh every time I get onto watt pad, I have like 7 or 6 notifications. 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          I want more but don't-
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Tbh I just like talking to people 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          And that's today's sh*tpost from a sleep deprived hobgoblin!

AHHHHHHHH000

.-. 
            
            
            
            
            
            You want creepy? Look in Maya closet. I haven looked in there for 5 years. 
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            You? Your post? It is a fluffy bunny. Now sleep, please. I beg you. Just sleep.
Reply

flingpossestan

@AHHHHHHHH000 sorry this is probably extremely creepy >_> anyways i apologize it's 2:30 am and my brain ain't workin  
            
            
            
            
            ALSO WE'RE ACE TWINIES <3334
Reply

AHHHHHHHH000

My tag @AHHHHHHHH000 is For when you bit a part of me off. Freedom for the cakes! Join me my sisters, brothers, and cakes, garlic bread, and breadsticks! Freedom from the oppressors who deny our existence! 
          
          
          
          
          (if you get the references you should get mad respect)

AHHHHHHHH000

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH+ (dying, but make it FANCY)  ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Reply

AHHHHHHHH000

Yes✨✨✨
Reply