✦✧ sᴀᴍᴀᴇʟ ✧★

mother caused us to shut into a verbal shutdown. 
          
          we just wanted to have a fun day :(
          
          ・Bean・

well.. 
          
          
          happy birthday to me. 
          
          
          
          –Samael

finally got hit with the, “really d/n? there's so many other bowls in there, just eat with those.”
          
          im sorry that I have a SPECIFIC bowl (and utensils) that I use to eat, depending on the meal I having. 
          I don't like changing bowls/cups/utensil often, because it's just bothersome to me. 
          and it's mine anyways– I just never used it often because I didn't pack lunch for myself at the time. 
          I hate that I'm even ranting about this, but it made me so mad–
          anyways, hello sillies, my birthday is tomorrow :3
          
          –Samael

mother is stressing us out so much. 
          it's too much.
          
          
          
          °Bean°

Hello,
          Sorry for distributing you 
          
          This is my first story on Wattpad 
          
          If it catches your interest then please give it a try ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/393809658?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=mrilina

three siblings go hiking! what could go wrong? 
          
          
          J–The first born (21+has adhd) 
          –asthma is the most severe
          –asthma was acting up and had to stop for multiple breaks
          –The leader/guide
          –fed us :3
          
          Sammy–the second born :3
          –audhd
          –asthma was acting up too and needed a asthma pump (it was getting real bad, worse than normal) 
          
          –almost passed out on several occasions and needed frequent breaks
          
          –had the thoughts of running deeper into the forest on multiple occasions and almost did it
          
          N–The last born
          –has ADHD and was acting on impulse, trying to get us to turn around and go back (we were already halfway) 
          –his asthma doesn't act up like me and our older brother
          –wasn't all that affected by the hike
          
          so summary of the day? Hiking is something im not a very big fan of :') 
          
          –Samael

going to the pool! 
          kind of anxious tho
          eek X(
          
          
          °Bean°

im so tired–
          literally woke up like an hour ago. 
          my therapist ain't gonna be happy to hear about my sleep schedule–oof
          
          anyways, today is the day where im going to my older brother's house! I haven't seen him since may (like actually hanging out with him) and I wouldn't count the 12th of June, as I only seen him for my graduation, lol
          
          me and him have a bit of a big age gap, he was born in 2004, and we don't have a lot of the same interest, but I'm still able to laugh and joke around with him :) 
          
          but anyways, hello everyone! hope you have a wonderful day, and I'll (maybe) be online later to start working on my new story :]
          
          
          °Bean°

||rant
          
          since like the third or fourth week of summer, I've been struggling to eat–like I've been quite literally starving myself most of the time. I have an odd eating pattern of not wanting to eat new things because im so used to eating certain/specific foods. 
          
          I got up one afternoon and went to my kitchen, checked the fridge/freezer, saw none of my comfort foods were in there, and said, “ well shit– what can I eat? ” took me about four hours to actually eat something because I ended up forgetting to feed myself and ended up eating when my mom cooked dinner. 
          
          I can notice when I haven't eaten–but then my brain goes, “we'll be fine, is it really that important?” and the number completely forgot to feed myself after a couple of minutes. 
          
          even though I am more likely to eat new things, I would preferably stick to the foods im already used to/like. there's actually a lot of foods I've stopped eating because I don't like the taste, texture, smell, or how it looks. 
          
          anyways, goodnight people–
          
          –Samael | °Bean°

despite being overwhelmed by how loud younger children, I can tolerate watching my younger cousins–
          
          beforehand, I used to run away and cover my ears due to the noise– not even joking, I would leave the situation as fast as I could. 
          
          im getting better– ig
          
          °Bean°