Mom:You will never be as successful as your brother he runs track
Me:I'm fast too mom
Mom: not fast enough
Me:I'm faster than the speed of five obese men chained together with shackles on their feet on a hot day in the dessert when they havent eaten for three years
Mom:.......
Me:Get it because if they haven't eaten for three years they would be dead HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mom:...............I will never love you
Just ordered a pizza, and when I open the box it was just bread.....FUCK DOMINOS AND THEIR FUCKING FUCK FACE FUCK HOLE FUCKING FUCKERS ON MERRY FUCKMAS IN THEIR MOTHERS FUCKING FUCKED FUCKERDOODLE
You know that feeling when you got a shit really bad and a lil poop peaks out your booty crack, well over here in Cal-e-four-knee-uh we call that a turtle head #TheMoreYouKnow
I was at Wal-Mart and I found a fancy juice in a big white bottle I think it was some kind of french juice because it was called Clorox, so I bought some, and it's not that bad I recommend it to any of my fellow juice lovers.
I saved a baby today, it was stuck in a hospital in a room filled with baby's crying. I felt really bad for them so I took two i could only save two. Next time you pass a hospital make sure they haven't stolen any baby's #SaveTheBabies