Hi! I'm Parker, and stuff. (I'm really awkward and I don't know what to say so I'll just hope you don't read this and just assume I'm really cool). (I'm totally cool, by the way. Definitely not someone who spends her life sitting in a dark room covered in Cheeto dust and using an unusual amount of brackets in her Wattpad account.) So! Now that we've clarified how cool I am, let's get down to buisness. I am 137.9% addicted to Harry Potter, the Yogscast and music. And oreos. Definitely oreos. 
Problems in my life that I can't tell anyone else because I have no friends to tell. 
1. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. (I probably do, but I like to be dramatic. I probably won't have any friends now because I just ignore their calls and sob hysterically about how I have no friends.)
2. I. CAN. NOT. FIND. ANY. CHEETOS. (Enough said.)
3. I have some sort of strange obsession with brackets. (See what I mean?)
4. No one understands me!!!!  ( I'm dramatic, get over it.)
5. There are about twenty million things that I want to do but cant be bothered to actually, you know, DO them.
6. I pretty sure I've got fuck-my-life-because-nothing-interesting-ever-happens-to-me-like-it-does-in-the-movies-itis. (To be honest, if my life WAS a movie, it would consist of me eating, and reading really weird fanfiction.)
7. I live about 9000 miles away from everyone in the world. ( *gasp* I don't have anything to say in the brackets.)
8. I've probably spent more time and effort writing stories than doing homework. ( Which, by the way, is worse than getting your head shoved up Satan's ass crack. Trust me.)
9. I CAN'T SMILE IN PHOTOS. (I LOOK LIKE A RETARDED DOLPHIN. Really, a tissue would look better in a photo than me.)
10. I haven't done anything productive on the past three weeks. (Apart from not die, of course.)

THERE. DONE. ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW? NO? WELL, YOU TRY TO TALK ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN YOUR OWN GOLDFISH THINKS YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. 
Ahem. Spaz attack over, lets pretend to write stories so you'll like me!