..⨳—ᴛᴀʀᴏᴜ—⨳..

Ermmm so yesterday my friend asked to check my pulse because we’re training in the healthcare field together and I was hesitant because I had cut the day before but I had a few bracelets on so I thought she wouldn’t see. 
          I guess I was wrong because today she came up to me with a glum expression and asked why I cut myself. 
          
          FUCKKK FUCK BRO WHY DID I THINK SHE WOULDNT SEE TT
          
          And now that I think about it yesterday when she finished finding my pulse she was staring at me a bit too much, I should’ve known </33 
          But like she was nice about it, she said she was here for me if I wanted to talk and said she cared about me so.. of course I didn’t admit it tho, I came up with the dumbest excuse that I got papercuts from emptying out my backpack because it’s full of papers, but my backpack isn’t even organized so she obviously didn’t buy it.
          
          Anyways, enough of that. A friend of mine, whom we’ll call Valentina, wanted to get her ear pierced so one of my other friends, who we’ll call Maria, offered to do it as a joke. 
          Valentina actually believed it and literally pulled out the tool to do it, and Maria actually did it. It looked really good ngl and we did it in the middle of class </33 my first time witnessing someone get their ears pierced, I had to hold Valentina’s hand because she was shaking but she liked it :D

I'M SORRY (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) I WAS BUSY WITH MY STUDIES AND ALL THAT (STILL AM) SO I HAVEN'T TALKED MUCH WITH YOU </////333 AND I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY, wanted to wish it for you :(((
          I'm sorry this is late...
          
          Happy birthday LUVVV <333  ik that things have been hard for you, and I wish you could see the way I see u, I'm so proud of you for still standing, overcoming your hardships, for still trying even on the days where everything feels heavy, you're stronger than you think, even if ur mind tells you otherwise sometimes, even if those thoughts overcome ur mind and u follow them, u're still trying to fight it and I'm sorry I can't be there for you physically, I really wish I could </3 just pls don't forget that there will always be people around you that you matter to them, me included, even if we didn't interact much, heck, I don't even know if u remember me. I hope and I'll pray that this year will be kinder to you, bring you softer days and help you heal, make you genuinely smile. And no matter what happens, u don't have to go through everything alone okay? U're always welcome to vent, as I said before, u aren't bothering us by venting at all, we're always open to hearing you ml, and I'm so proud of every little achievement you did, including you seeking help from a professional, I'm so happy to hear that you did <333
          
          Lots of love and hugs
          MUAHHHHHH, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY AGAIN 

OMG NO I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY 

“I see as you see yourself” 
          Oh God I really hope not..

OMG HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAYYYYY I HOPE IT WAS SO AMAZING ILYSMMM

So!
          
          Uh..
          
          I got into health assisting in my school! I’m not sure what I want to be, maybe a Nurse, a home nurse, a therapist orrrr.. idk. The workload is a LOT tho, so I won’t be able to come online— like barely smhh :(( DO KEEP ME UPDATED ON YOUR LIVES THO!! I NEED TO KNOW! IM A NOSY PERSON PLSPLSPLS I LOVE YOU ALL SM 
          
          Anyways there’s this very extroverted girl in my homeroom and she’s been trying to befriend me but it makes me super uncomfortable bec she keeps following me around and trying to talk to me and I have no idea what to do bec I don’t want to talk :// I asked her to leave me alone one time because I was trying to finish my work and she was just standing over my desk trying to get me to continue talking and then asked me to go sit near her. She said it was because not many people talked to her and I felt bad but IM NOT THE PERSON BRO PLS LEAVE ME ALONE </33
          
          Anyways, yesterday I had to stay after school to finish a worksheet and it was raining so hard and I forgot my umbrella so when I got off my bus I had to walk in the rain for like twenty minutes bc my house was really far. I couldn’t even ask my mom to pick me up because she was working and I didn’t want to bother her </3 
          I think I got a cold from it guys,, I lost my voice. I can’t talk loud bro NO ONE CAN HEAR ME
          
          Oh ya I had a presentation today and I think I did pretty well! I had to draw a naked man to show the anatomy but obv not completely naked. I thought it looked pretty bad but a bunch of people complimented it after it was over so I guess it looked okay :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!! 
          I'm so sorry I haven't been talking to you frequently. I got pin! Do you wanna talk there?

AGHHHHAHGAHAHSGSVSVSHSHUSBSBSBSUAJHSHSHEHEH ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! EHEHHEHE IM SO EXCITED AHH

Help I forgot to say this yesterday but I’m saying it now bc I want to make ppl laugh
          
          So yesterday at gym we were playing hockey but like with an actual ball and they made me goalie. So there u was, defending the net when this guy from the opposing team hit the ball really hard and it ended up going straight to my face.
          I got hit in the forehead and got a headache for the rest of the day but it was hilarious ngl, I was so stunned that after the ball hit me all I did was stare at the ball </3

That feeling when you just want to talk to someone or call, just to feel like you actually matter in their lives or something but.. you don’t really have anyone to do that with..
          
          
          It’s okay. I have my bed, and an infinite source of tears to waste. Just another night to cry myself to sleep I guess.