IateMYgrandma

!VENT!
          
          all I want right now is to have somebody to cry on, I don't want "are you OK" I just want to be hugged in silence for hours while I cry, until I stop crying, til I physically can't cry anymore, I don't know why I do but I do, all I do is hide sadness or weakness and despair, I just hate people seeing me cry, I feel worthless as fuck and I try to be distant towards people when they don't come up to me, just sitting all by myself, I don't want others to get attached towards me in case I decide I don't want to be here anymore, all I want to do is just cry on someone's shoulder, but I find it hard because everyone knows me as the loud, social, always happy kid, I only am loud because you are there to talk to me, I'm social because I don't want to be alone, I'm afraid of being alone, I'm not afraid of death but afraid of losing the people I love, I try not to get attached, I ended up getting attached to someone, liking them, and then my heart broke too many times because of them, I try to talk to them, but it just doesn't feel right I just want to erase that part of my friendship with them and start over with her, she's my best friend but she hurt me emotionally, when still thinks that I know she's always joking or it doesn't hurt her, when I had sent a Instagram reel to her she had replied "if someone killed you I wouldn't be at your funeral, I would be in jail for killing whoever killed you" It made me so happy I had fucking cried, I'm glad our friendship is fixing it self for the most part, I didn't like anybody for a while but I've moved on now, I'm glad.. No one, and I repeat, no one, knows who I like right now, the only way to describe her is: she has beautiful dirty blonde hair, gorgeous blue eyes, nice personality, amazing voice, she can sing perfectly, perfect in every way... She's inlove with a guy I know though.. Wish I was him..
          I'm gonna end it here, sorry I wasted your time, have a good day or night

Join my discord server for therians, cuadrobists, furries, or even just supporters, Hope you have a wonderful day (Idk if the link will work, you may have to copy and paste it into a search tab or some, Idk)
          
          
          
          https://discord.gg/uHxmfupy

Guys I sent a message at 1:31 am today and it's 1:05 am now

Update, we chill now, we gonna play roblox if her PC ain't a bitch

2024 is the "best" year

IMA go play a therapy game on roblox cuz I really wanna talk with someone

Any y'all scared of others leaving you/dieing, but not scared of dieing yourself

Do any of y'all know how to properly fake smile, like wrinkles and all, or just me..?

I really need to vent RN so you can ignore this if you want.
            
          
             I'm the type of person you can say "if you do ____ I won't be friends with you anymore" and I will seriously freak out, like, a lot, this happens with me and my friend all the time, and it's just this one person, this same person also gets at me for, literally no reason, like for example, my WiFi is bad and I can't hear her and ask her to repeat herself, I get this answer "OH MY GOD, YOUR FRICKING DEAF" not repeating just saying that... She also gets mad at me for the smallest accidents I do, I can say sorry at least a million times and I don't get an answer, nothing, a threat for me to get blocked, that's it, but today I'm worried I actually got blocked by her, we were playing MMV on roblox and I accidentally killed her and she freaked out, on another not, we don't team, so I don't know why she freaks out whenever I kill her in mm2, accident or not, she says "I'm not playing with ever again, I'm don't want to be friends with you" she says a variation of this every, single, time, she usually still is my friend like a week later, but I'm seriously worried she blocked me because every time we have this type of fight she texts me "I'm blocking you"   sorry if I wasted your time, I may take this down and put it in my book if I find out any further information, bye, if you read this, thank you for taking your precious time to read this useless paragraph.

Hi and thank you for following me, keep it up with the good work. Would you mind checking my story? Right now is in progress so stay close to find out more! Wish you all the best and I am looking forward to discover more of your work!
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/376339031-beyond-borders