@AceCarstairsOfficial
Friendship...
Oh what a pure, beautiful and important thing it is for a human life.
I hate seeing how people use that "Friendship" as a name to do absolutely sickening things and be okay with it.
If the shoe fits, Wear it.
If there was something I was proud of myself... It was the fact that "I am great friend"
I love being something people can count on
I love letting people know how much they matter
I love being there for them...
But lately, I can't help but feel I have been lacking as a friend much less a good one...
Isn't it ironic that the same person who made those tears run down my cheek is probably wiping up some one else's, better yet, Making them laugh?
It isn't out of jealousy, but goddamn, I wish I knew what I am feeling.
Or atleast how I am supposed to...
Shouldn't I be feeling better by now?
Haven't the time healed me enough to not make tht anger raise in me?
Shouldn't I be able to just walk away?
And just like that...
I didn't mind crying for a boy...
Not when his five tiny fingers wrapped around mine, not when it was happy tears when I saw him smile.
People used to tell me that I don't open up easy, that I am too guarded.
Maybe...
But I just realized... It isn't just me. It was the person asking the questions, the way they did.
There is no way to explain the pain of being replaced...
Or a easy way of healing from seeing someone take the place you though was yours...
You just have to accept it and move on.
Seeing each other is not love
Talking every night is not love
Sex is not love
Everything is clear in my head, But that haunting question in my heart is always...
What is "love" and... why is never... Me?
Many people think
"Oh, Its just Harry Styles"
"You like him because he is good looking"
Let me make this clear, It was NEVER about his looks.
I was in a very lonely and bad place when I first heard 'What makes you beautiful'...
And just like that, I fell in love with One direction.
The group of five boys who doesn't even know my existence made me feel better than any other did.
And Harry? Harry is kind when the world is cruel, He is gentle when others expect different "Treat people with kindness"... His famous words just proves that all.
And No man, None in existence, has ever made me cry listening to his music.
A mistake is a mistake from the very beginning, the middle as well as the end.
It would not change into a miracle overnight.
I learned that today the hard way.
"Mistake"
A mistake can be easily made,
when you are happy, when you are mad,
Even if you are just scared...
Even if the price is paid
Even after a thousand sorry
The weight of it is still yours to carry.