Yami

Loneliness is when you have to put your dishwasher on 'half load' each time 

Hope you're doing oki
          
          *hug*

For you
          
          Day by day you feel so low
          But but altogether you may always grow
          You wouldn't ever guess the steps I would go to
          To only see and know the happiest you.

People planning for the future, while im in my room at night imagining senarios where im not me, where im someone else who is loved by everyone, who has someone to love and has someone to come home to
          And then I'll wake to reality and remember im only me.
          Plain, boring old me
          I want to go home now
          But i dont feel loved at home
          So what do I do now
          What's the point
          Just give up
          Just give in
          Just go.

Life is pointless.
          I might as well die now.
          All we constantly do is wake up, get ready as best we can for societies standards, complete the day, and sleep.
          I mean sure, we eat, hang out and have memories and experiences.
          But in the end its just continuous repetetiveness of life, and im sick of it.
          I'll wake up tomorrow and the day will repeat, just like the other 16 years of my life.
          I wish I could go back to when I saw a point, back to when I gave a shit about anything.
          I want to be able to get out of bed without constant effort.
          I wish I wasnt so tired all the time
          And I wish that I didnt spend so much time infront of the mirror desperately trying to cover up all my mistakes, and the bags under my eyes from the nightmares that haunt me at night, but its never enough, and im so tired, constantly.
          I wish for so many things that i constantly feel selfish, and then i can't move forwards
          but now what's the point of even thinking about future, when I struggle to make it through day by day?
          I'm not the only one like me, but this constant fight feels so lonely, and each day I loose just that little bit more.
          I fall back into bad habits
          It's easier for people to see me happy, because then they wouldnt have to live with the constant hell that is me.
          If they saw me as I see myself they would cry, I know they would
          And to ruin their pefect fantasy of me? That is true selfishness, I could never bring myslef to do it.
          I struggle to pay attention in class or work afterwards, I keep fantasising about how everything would be so much easier if I wasnt here
          If I just didnt give so much of a fuck and let go
          But no
          I must be perfect for others, otherwise everything I've built up will crumble down and fall.
          And im only 17

You can just ignore this, I'm being stupid but yea;
          This sounds really bad, and I'm probably making this so much more dramatic than it sounds, but my mental health has been declining these weeks, and I wrote this in one of my classes and I feel the need to post it,  I don't know how to explain it, but what I wrote hit deep with me and made so much sense, so I was hoping others were able to relate to this.

Hope you're doing ok.
          
          *hug*

Soo some of my friends have started calling me Angel, because I survived this really shitty thing last week, and now it's stuck so they've officially changed my nickname to Angel, so I thought, might as well change it in here -_-.
          
          But feel free to keep calling me Bunny if you want, still don't know why you call me that...
          
          Looking at you Lulu.♥️

*gives green fire* 

Hey! Idk if you remember me but it's been a while! How have you been?