Lucien

All I ever wanted was to be loved.

I'm a failure. I'm not pretty or naturally pleasant, or friendly. I'm not smart, or funny, or confident. I'm exactly what Mama said I was, weak.

I hate feeling like this. So pathetic. Do people like you ever feel this way? I figure you don't. You seem so perfect all the time. Lord must've been generous to you. He never answers any of my prayers. I don't know why. What did I do? What is wrong with me?

"Those who oppose me may never look down on me. So lower your head."
            
            Yes baby!

Deep in my heart I hate you, gaara 
            You were never loved, gaara

نطرتك على بابي بليلة العيد
            مرقوا كل صحابي ووحدك اللي بعيد

I don't wanna be the owner of your fantasy
            I just wanna be a part of your family

I really wanted it to be you so badly until I understood that you didn't want it to be me

I am forever chained to myself; and that's what I am, and that's what I must try to live with

 As you know, I was hurt. But then I realised, that's just how you are. You know, and maybe I just need to stop expecting you to be a good person, so that way I won't get hurt when you're not.

I wasted like half of my summer tryna hold on your hand 

I wanted her to look at me, but she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair!

When you realize you're not betting on losing dogs.. you're the losing dog 

 Father. I would have butcher the whole world... if you would only love me!

 All I've ever wanted was to live up to you, Caesar. Father

You will look into the faces of passers by hoping for something that will, for an instant, bring me back to you. You will find moonlit nights strangely empty, because, when you call my name through them, there will be no answer. Always your heart will be aching for me, and your mind will give you the doubtful consolation that you did, a brave thing.

Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so, you said your mother only smiled on her TV show, you’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope, I hope you make it to the day you’re twenty-eight years old 

نوارة عمري مروحتي قنديلي بوح بساتيني
            مدي لي جسرًا من رائحة الليمون
            وضعيني مشطًا عاجيًا
            فى عتمة شعرك وأنسيني
            
            من أجلك أعتقت نسائي
            وتركت التاريخ ورائي
            وشطبت شهادة ميلادي
            وقطعت جميع شراييني

- Does he make you laugh?
            - He doesn't make me cry

When the couple is so cute, you want to kys -_-

Give it to your sister and never wonder
            If the same pressure would've pulled you under
            Who am I if I don't have what it takes?

أَنَا عَالِمٌ بالحُزْنِ مُنْذُ طُفُولَتي
            رفيقي فما أُخْطِيهِ حينَ أُقَابِلُهْ

اجمل شيء في الدنيا الشوكولا، ما ينقصها انها ليست محرمة 

عشقُ البناتِ حرامٌ في مدينتنا
            عشق البناتِ طريقٌ للغواياتِ
            إياكَ أن تلتقي يوماً بأمرأةٍ
            إياكَ إياكَ أن تغري الحبيباتِ
            إنّ الصبابةَ عارٌ في مدينتنا
            فكيف لو كان حبي للأميراتِ؟

هذا الهَوى كان دائمًا محكومًا عليهِ بالهلاك، ومع العلم انه هلاكٌ سرمدي، أنه عذابٌ لا متناهِي، فإن العث لا يزال يرمي بنفسه في النار حتى يلقى مماته. 
            
            ليتنا التقينا بطريقةٍ أُخرى.

أرجوك يا إلهي، دعني أكون جشعًا الآن فقط، إسمح لي بأن اتشبث بهذا الدفء الزائل، إسمح لي أن اطلق عنان مشاعري هذه المرة فقط، دع هذه اللحظة أكثر لحظات حياتي شوقًا ولهفة، فلتجعله منقوشًا بقلبي، لحياتي هذه وكل حيواتي القادمة ولا يتلاشى ابدًا.

شايفين الظلم ياناس دا حلال ولا حرام
            آه من جرح الاحساس دي الام واشد الام
            اوصيك بالصبر ياقلبي دا غرامو طلع اوهام

Yeah, but I'm not writing a book to have fun. If I don't write my book of essays now, I never will. And if I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time.

"Why are you crying, Lain? Because you deleted yourself from everyone's memory? But, Lain, isn't that what you wanted all along?"

But nothing makes the room feel emptier than wanting someone in it.