Raven

YK WHAT I THOUGHT THAT THEY WOULD Have BEEN PROUD OF ME FOR SWEEPING THE KITCHEN FLOOR, VACUMMING THE LIVINGROOM AND DOING PUTTING MY LAUNDRY IN THE WASHER. BUT NOOOO. THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I TRIED TO MAKE THEM HAPPY WITH DOING THESE THINGS AND ALL THEY DID WAS YELL AT ME TO DO MORE STUFF.

I feel so sick I should of never drank that monster, it feels like ima throw up.. guys what do I do, I can't deal with this anymore.. I haven't drank a monster in forever and on top of that I'm really dehydrated,  I barley drink any water, and I don't know what to do, I just chugged water but I don't know if it'll help... guy seriously..please tell me what to do..

SIGH...
          
          why aren't I able to just yk comfort people? How hard is it? According to myself it's hard too... I get akwaward because I don't know how... it upsets me that I don't know how to comfort people... like... why....? How? What do I do? Instead of standing there blankly like a deer in the headlights?! WHAT DO I DO!? Please tell me... I can't deal with this anymore... I need to know.... jeez I hate how I'm so stupid.... and unable to comfort people... stupid mom... why did you have to do this to me...?....
          
          "Stop crying before I give you something to cry about"
          "Why are you crying?! Tell me!!!"
          "Stop crying!"
          "Your crying for no reason!"
          
          Here I am again... oh shoot... I gotta take my meds.... brb yall....

guys m throat hurts and i dont know why :( 
          but i dont think im sick ill see how i feel in the morning. 
          wait it is the morning, well later in the morning.

Hehhhehe!! Haiiiii!! M can’t wait till m able to see Ash!! It so close!!

I don't know why but I feel like I'm to the point where I can't trust anyone. That I can't trust my own cousin kenz. I just get this feeling that everyone is talking bad about me... besides Denki, Ash, and like two other people.

I'm hungry but I feel like not eating. Ik I should eat but I, I just, don't feel like it..
          I don't know what..to do but idk why but I feel like Ima be sick if I eat when ik that it most likely won't happen, but there's still that little bit of me that feels like it's gonna happen... and I don't wanna feel like that again...

I’m so scared that charity’s friend is going to go to the next thing before me! In dance! AND IVE BEEN HERE LONGER!! LIKE I SWEAR. SHE WANTS TO JOIN BUT IF SHES JOININING HER BUTT IS GOING TO THE CLASS IM IN NOW. AINT NO WAY SHES GOING TO THE NEXT CLASS BEFORE ME.

Why can't I be over ty's death already?? HUH?! LIKE. WHY NOT???? GOD I JUST WANT HIM TO COME BACK.. PLEASE... I WANNA GO BACK YEARS... I WANT HIM TO NOT BE PUT DOWN... I DONT CARE ANYMORE IF I RUN DOWN THE HILL AND HE NIBBLES AT MY ANKLES, I JUST WANT HIM BACK. PLEASE... I WANT MY BESTFRIEND BACK!!!!! I ATLEAST WANNNA SAY BYE TO HIM!! I DIDNT GET TO DO THAT!! ALL MOMS FAULT. WHY COULDNT THEY TELL ME. WHY COULDNT I BE THERE?? WHEN THEY WERE PUTTING HIM DOWN??? 
          INSTEAD I HAD TO FIND OUT WHEN I SEEN HIM NOT AT MY GRANDPARENTS HOUSE AND I ASKED MY MOM WHERE TY WAS AND SHE SAID "he's dead, they put him down." And we were leaving the house. Getting into the car. And I was just in pure shock, and I started crying and my mom had the audacity THE AUDACITY TO SAY "why are you crying" "there's no reason to cry" "he's dead there's nothing you can do about it" and more.

I want to be little :(