Ah, hello there. I've been expecting you. Please, have a seat. Have some tea and cookies. Relax. I do appreciate you taking the time to stop by. It tends to get so lonely here....
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What's that?
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You wish to know more of me?
Ahaha no. I don't like stalkers. They tend to...upset me. 

But please, enjoy yourself. Perhaps check out our wide selection of books?
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Shush, I know there's only two and they suck. But not to worry. There's more to come. 

Welcome to the dark side, stranger.