he didn't know how it happened. he didn't know when it started. he just realized it one day. when he noticed how his eyes would always look for her, how his heart would thump from just a glance at her, how his skin gets goosebumps with just a touch of her, or how his stomach would do those little flips whenever she so much as smiled at him.
it was beautiful. she was beautiful.
but at the same time, it was sickening... it was sickening how he hated the guts of every single man that dared set foot within a meter of her. it was sickening how he thought of cutting off those filthy hands that dared touch her. it was sickening how he thought of all the ways he could keep her, locked up from the world outside and all the eyes that he wanted to dig out of their sockets when they so much as glance at her. it was sickening. sickening how he even considered it, when back then he thought she was just another stepping stone for him to reach the top. but of course, these imaginations will forever remain as fantasies.
a secret that he'll take with him to the grave.