I believe chapter one is solid, needs grammar checked, make sure not to use words like An, so, and “and” to start sentences unless their dialogue UNLESS you absolutely have to. It makes a story sound repetitive.
Only complaint is the Character bio chapter, which it’s just a personal preference. So feel free to ignore me on it. But I believe you don’t need a Character bio chapter dedicated to explaining or showing abilities appearance or weapons. My personal opinion it’s better to just leave that to the story telling in your story to reveal your characters strength and equipment and over all appearance as it comes up in chapters. Makes the story feel more engaging if you get to find out what they can do and use over a period of chapters as opposed to learning out of the gates.
Again a personal preference character bios don’t take away from the story.
Just make sure to do what you wish to do with the story, don’t let others or other stories influence you. You can let them guide you sure, or make suggestions. But the important thing is to make something you really enjoy reading and I assure you, if you enjoy reading it. others will enjoy it too. Keep up the good work!
