@Aizaki
@Aizaki Oh, it's fine! I hope my message didn't sound angry or anything! ^^; I found you on dA, by the way! I have an account there, but it's old and I really don't use it much, because I came here, but nice cosplays!
Oh no, not at all~ It's perfectly fine, dearie! ^^ And really? Well, I'm glad you think so...~
@Aizaki Haha, yeah, there's really not much time to do anything these days... It's true, I could try and pull off an omniscient point of view, but I wanted to keep the characters' thoughts intact, as though they were telling the story, or at least, bits of it. There's so many parallel events! And it seems kind of unprofessional to write with all these first person POVs, but I've seen many professional, published writers use the technique. In all honesty, though, I prefer third person or third person omniscient myself, when writing at least! I tried to follow that when I started the sorry, but I found that the characters could be expressed so much more easily and fluidly if I let them speak for themselves, in a sense. Thank you for the suggestion, though! I am definitely going to try pulling that off!
Ah, got it~ Well, I thought it was worth offering, ya know? Anyway, I hope you the best of luck with your story m'dear~! ^^
@Aizaki Ah, that's a good list! I like...well, lets see...Spice, Rolling Girl, Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder, Remote Control, Never, Light Song, Electric Love, God Slaying Machine, Romeo and Cinderella, Cantarella, Cendrillon, Madness of Duke Venomania, Discotheque Love, Fire Flower, Meltdown, Yellow... It's hard for me to pick a few, actually! Actually, if you can, just message me any suggestions/typos you see per chapter. I plan to rewrite once I'm done the entire thing, but I'd like to at least comb it over and cultivate the older chapters as I work towards the end. Like I said, I've hardly looked over them twice, and it's kind of embarrassing how bad they are. (I guess it's bad, but maybe I'm a little too hard(?) on myself sometimes. There's just so much that needs to be fixed, you know? ^^)
OMG, those are some really good songs too~! Jeez...so many songs to listen and remember and so little time..
And I will- though- if I could suggest you- when you go back to rewrite it- to simply change the entire story into a third person view rather than having all of the different view points and such..~ Just a suggestion, ya know? (It's fine, as writer's it's better for us to be hard on ourselves than too easy and then make even bigger mistakes than we would have otherwise, ya know?)
@Aizaki Yeah, it requires a certain degree of proficiency to pull that off. I'm nowhere near that yet. XD And the only incest couple I ship is Rin x Len. Besides, with Vocaloids, you can interpret them however you want, and that's what's really cool about them, so they don't have to be twins, or even related! Do you have any favourite Vocaloid songs? And I was wondering, I'm writing a Rin x Len fanfiction, and it's still sort of a first draft that I'm publishing, so it kind of sucks. -_- So I was wondering if maybe you could read it and offer suggestions? I mean, you can just read it if you want, but it's nice to have someone offer a tidbit of advice here and there, because once I'm done, I want to go back and revise it. (The title is Spectrum of Yellows) If you do read it, thanks, and if you don't, it's alright, I understand. I hardly have any reading time these days, so I get it!
Well...personally I can always find the time/mood to listen to Spice!, Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder, Remote Control, Jabberwocky Jabberwocka, KiLLER LADY, Just Be Friends, iNsaNity (or however it's capitalized), and As We Gods Say. I'm sure there's plenty of others but I can't remember them right now~ What about you?
Would you like me to post suggestions per chapter or just let you know about them here for the story overall? Cause I can do either...~
@Aizaki It's okay, I didn't get around to posting anything there, either, so I didn't really lose anything. It is a compliment! If I may be perfectly honest, it's true that at some posts, I found the writing saturated with description and it was a bit too much. Still, very nice descriptions! You know, there's a technique that you can use that allows for characters to be woven into the setting and description of the scene...it's crazy, and I'm studying it these days, but look up the first few paragraphs of the book Anne of Green Gables to get an idea of what I mean. It's a really cool trick. Rin and Len are the nicest looking couple of all Vocaloids, IMO.
Oh, well at least there's that, ne?
And yeah...I'm working on finding that balance right at the moment- some people want more descriptions, some want less, more dialogue, more action (but still be talking and moving the story forward). We've actually talked a bit about that technique in English at the beginning of the year for our short-stories we wrote...needless to say mine was not the best oTL
And well, yeah, but then we get into the whole "what is that saying about us?" with the whole incest argument even though they're not officially twins and then there's moral issues for some people and blah blah blah. But I totally agree, so xD
Personally, if I can also be honest with you, I can pretty much pair any Vocaloid with another as long as it can make sense and/or there's a story/song which portrays the Vocaloid pairing in a way I'd never thought about, you feel me?
@Aizaki Oh, so that's why it's so well written! I had a ff.net account...but it sort of vaporized, 'cause I forgot my username and password, both... But I'm fine here! That's a pretty nice cosplay, and that sounds like a pretty nice friend! The way you describe Len and Rin almost makes them seem like dolls in my eyes, which is cool, because Vocaloids can be viewed as dolls, in a manner of speaking. So is Len x Rin your favourite pairing?
Smooooth...~
And thanks, I'll tell her you said that! ^.^
Annnd I'm not really sure if I'm supposed to take that as a complete or something I need to work on...hm...
Also, yes, it's ONE of my favorite pairings when you just look at the Vocaloid fandom...~
@Aizaki I can't believe I just read your reload message! Sorry, I didn't see it before! >< Your work is really good! You probably go over it a ton, too, right? Like, revise it and stuff? I'm pretty good, too, but I'm lazy...;_; Your work rocks, by the way! It's pretty deep! And is one of the people in the cosplay you? :3
Oh it's fine~! ^^ And again, thank you- but I actually don't go over things too much before I post them. However, Our Clarity has been on ff.net for about a year and a half now so I had plenty of time to have people check it over and for me to read it out loud (which helps catch small errors)- so if you compare it to Through the Seasons, you should see the difference(s).
And thanks, I just usually write whatever craziness pops into my head and go from there xD
For your third comment/question: Yes, actually! I'm the crazy/derpy looking Rin ya see there and the Len is actually a girl who was nice enough to deal with me~! ^^
Hello and welcome to Wattpad, fellow Kagamine fan! I'll be reading Our Clarity, and I was wondering if you wanted to check out my Vocaloid fanfiction, Spectrum of Yellows. It has Len x Rin, Gakupo x Luka and Miku x Kaito, among other pairings, but the most prominent one is Len x Rin.
So yeah. Have a follow from me, and I'll see you around!
Oh my gosh! First of all, thank you so much for the follow- like, oh my orange you do not even know how happy that makes me. And secondly, as soon as I get home from school I will try to read your no doubt amazing story~!
Again, thank you very much for the follow and have a fabulous day~!