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I used to write this book called peace after Chaos. It was a book that I vented ALL my anger and depression into, but I deleted it. And right now I'm fucking regreting it.
Why is it whenever I think that I've turned my pathetic life around I ALWAYS have to screw it up.
It's a fucking Ducking nightmare, it's something I can never escape. My mum used to say "is this who you really are Ruby because if it is, I refuse to support you"
This would scare me shitless. Sometimes it worked other times I just got worse. Now I've managed to go three months, three months of peace no pain and no anger, but I relapsed. And now I'm fucking hurting those closest to me.
Sorry for ranting, I'm sure none of unwanted to know this. But I just had to.