It's 11:37 pm rn and I just finished typing my speech on MS Word with my mom. And like my MAIN MAIN PROBLEM these days are like my sudden laziness, my mood swings, my social anxiety, my insecure-ness and me being emotionally unstable. Like I ain't even joking about the emotionally unstable part, like every time my mom does my homework or project for me because I can't do it or I'm dumb and too lazy and she knows it, she does it for me instead without doing anything. And like I do fr feel guilty but I feel more useless, worthless and shtyy for letting her do that because I KNOW I am a nice person(My mom says so) but like every nice person thinks of bad things too right? But making my MOM do MY HOMEWORK? It's just too much for me. And like when me and my mom were going to the table and my dad was going to the sofa to sit next to my sleeping sister, my mom took my dad's phone from the table or sofa I forgot Idk and that led to them fighting and to me tearing up and crying quietly. I cannot handle seeing or hearing my parents fighting verbally and OBVIOUSLY NOT physically in front of me.
And another problem is that I used to think of this one stray cat we named Najimi as a friend or pet. When I visited my grandma's house from my dad's side I would always see him waiting at the bridge or in front of the house, but like after months and months of not seeing him, when me and the family from my dad's side went on a swimming trip they told me that they like"niligaw' the cat, like basically taking a cat VERY FAR AWAY from its home or your house and leaving the cat there alone so it won't come back. When I heard about that I wanted to have a mental breakdown in front of them soooo bad but I just didn't. And it's been like 6 months since they've told me and I still keep crying when I remember him. Like one night I kept crying and crying nonstop because Najimi kept popping into my mind. It's like I'm squeezing my eyes dry every night
