Amara_Val888

Okay soo reading you recent messages recently (just because I just got revived from my studying) . Do you want a hug, my child? (●'▽'●)ゝ.I have all the time needed (I think) 

I'm so boreddddd- 
          No school(waiting till I get accepted to the college I wanna go to-)
          And I finished all the fanfic/original stories I wanna read (I usually wait till it's been a year and haft or a few more years till I reread them) 
          I'm dying of boredomjejdjsjsjsnsjssn

They're talking about me like I'm not in the other room, their words hurt so bad.. the comparison to the others... The way they just casually talk about kicking me out, the way they just keep on comparing and comparing me to others like it's just a normal conversation, I don't know how to stop anymore... I don't know how to stop my head's getting dizzy because of....
          I don't know how to stop, every words that comes out of their mouth caused me to imagine different ways for them to d-e and it sickens me to the point that I have to punish myself for it to stop...
          I wanna stop I wanna stop but they won't stop and it's just making my head worst and worst I want it to stop please just stop I don't wanna do something I will regret but they won't stop please make it stop....

I'm literally so done rn... And they wonder why I stop telling them shit, whenever I tell them shit it always turns into a fucking lecture!
          I wanna live till I'm too old for this world so bad! But they're all making it hard!!
          They would blame every problems I have on my phone when it's literally the only thing keeping me sane from this shitty family, yes, they fucking raise me and gave me the stuff I might need. But did they ever listen to my words? No they never once listened. If they do, they'll use it to fucking lecture me on shit that isn't even related to the fucking issue I'm just so done right now, my mental health isn't doing great anymore, I just want it to stop.. I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop I want it to stop

God I'm so boreddddd, there's nothing to read or do-- 

Looking at my comments, i just realize that i have no filter when i comment HAHA--- but in real life i literally talk like im innocent so--looking at my comments got me laughing my head off

So like uhm- is anyone getting notifications out of nowhere where it said, your comment got a 1 like! And the profile that was shown was the Wattpad logo? Cuz rn I'm confused is that normal? Cause before when I get a notification when someone like/heart my comments I see their profile but today I've been getting a bunch of notification with the same situation and my comments from other stories I read too! Get this likes?
          Is this normal?

IM ALIVE AND FINE!! well .. I think I'm fine ? Though I did had a problem with the environment in our school- or classroom-- I mean I out of nowhere just start having a hard time to breath to not being able to BREATH-- had to be rush to the clinic, but guess what! The nurse there just said "since you don't have asthma or any lung problems or any other sickness related to breathing, your fine" bro I just had a panic attack wtf- and I was sent back to the classroom :)

I like making stories, I like reading, and I like drawing if you can see from my profile, it's my drawing. the elf girl!
          
          I even have a YouTube account where I post my drawing( I never once told about if to my family as my YouTube account can be my venting place ) 
          And as I was saying I like reading thing, fanfic and og stories, I can find it here on Wattpad or anywhere on the internet, I was thinking hey after a long summer with my relatives that hurts my feeling I'm sure at school I can finally breath and read in peace but no.. they made a rule that no phones are allowed and now I'm gonna lose myself..
          
          My escape, my peace...
          I'm okay, I'm not gonna do anything that will end up with me in the hospital.. I'm okay I've been in this situations before..
          
          I'm okay..

School haven't even started yet and I'm already losing it, it's hard to be in a house when all that you hear from your relatives are hurtful comments, about how you look, about how you speak, and about how you act.. I though school was going to be my escape when I started school but no, it just ruined me more