Améliane

J'ai oublié qu'il fallait souhaiter Noël aux gens... C'est quand j'ai vu toutes mes notifs de "Joyeux Noël!!!" que j'm'en suis rendue compte... Bon, certes il est un peu tard pour vous l'dire mais... 
          
          HAPPY CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYBODYYYYY!!! 
          
          D'ailleurs ça j'vais le dire en avance comme ça j'vais pas oublier :
          Happy new year too. 
          Ouais là j'm'en bas carrément les couilles parce que c'est un moment totalement inintéressant dans ma vie, voilà. 
          De rien. 
          Bon. 
          Il est quasi 2h du mat'. 
          Va p't'être falloir que j'me couche moi. 
          Bonne nuit. 

My real presentation :
          
          Hello ! My name is Améliane and I'm 14. I live in France, so I'm... French.
          Hum...
          My favorite colors : Purple, Black and probably green.
          My favorite number : 8.
          My favorite animal : Cheetah.
          
          Well, that's certainly all ! Bye bye !
          
          ------------------------------
          
          Ma vraie présentation :
          
          Bonjour ! Je m'appelle Améliane et j'ai 14 ans. J'habite en France, donc je suis... Française.
          Euh...
          Mes couleurs préférées : Violet, Noir et probablement vert.
          Mon chiffre préféré : 8.
          Mon animal préféré : Guépard.
          
          Bon, c'est certainement terminé ! Au revoir !

- Okay... I have something to tell you.
          - *listening*
          - I... I quits my YouTube channel !
          - ...
          - Yes yes, I know. It's really sad...
          - *laugh* No, in reality, I don't care !
          - Oh... Okay... I understand...
          - *mocks* (tro d bar mdr)
          - Hum... B-Bye !
          - Yeah yeah, go away ! And far away !
          - Cool... I have a good life...
          - Oh you, shut up please !
          - ...

- *voice of psychopath* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!
          - Hum... Are you okay ?
          - Yessss, I'm super fiiiiine !
          - Okay. I will go there. Bye.
          - Oh no, no, no, no, no !
          - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah !
          - NO !!
          - *stop, aspen* W-w-w-w-why... ?
          - *creepy voice* Because... *happy voice* I must wish you a happy birthday !
          - *blank* Wwwwhat ?!
          - Yes ! It's your birthday, no ?
          - Oh yes, it's true ! I had completely forgotten...
          - So, I'm a clown !
          - *new blank* A clown ?
          - Yeah, the clown of party !
          - Party ? Which party ?
          - The party celebrating your 30th birthday !
          - But... I didn't order anything. My whole family is dead and I have no friends !
          - Oh... Sad life.
          - Yes, I know...
          - But, everything I said, *creepy voice* was wrong !!
          - *shocked* Oh my God !!! But... Why ?
          - Because, in truth... *voice of psychopath* I'm a serial killer !! BWAHAHAHAHA !!!
          - Disguised as a clown.
          - Yes, it's more fun and I love clowns !
          - Okay... So you gonna kill me ?
          - No, no, do not worry !
          - Oh, cool.
          - *creepy voice* NO, THIS IS A JOKE !!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU !!!
          - Nooooooooooooooo !!!
          - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

- I'm happy !
          - Okay.
          - Why you don't ask me "why" ?
          - Because I don't care !
          - Nice...
          - Yes I know, I'm so friendly !
          - You are terribly nasty !
          - Thank you very much ! I love you and I imagine than you love me ?
          - No.
          - Too much love ! ♥-♥
          - Shut up !
          - You are so nice with me ! *-*
          - Yeah, yeah, yeah...
          - In brief, you love me, that is true ? I'm not right ?
          - Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope !
          - I love you sooooo much ! ♥-♥
          - Shut up with your love !!
          - Ooooh, you are very cute !
          - Shit, I had just ask a question...
          - You're very pretty !
          - Cool.

- I'm so excited ! Because today, I die !
          - Wait... What ?
          - What "what" ?
          - Today, you die ??
          - Yes !! It's not cool ?
          - Of course yes, this is super !
          - Yes I know.
          - Finally.
          - Hum... Why "finally" ?
          - Because you are terribly annoying !
          - I-It's true ?
          - Obviously.
          - Oh... O-Okay... I enderstand...
          - *laugh*
          - But finally, I decided to not die !
          - WHAT ???
          - Yes... What you said is naughty so I want to stay !
          - Seriously ??
          - Yes !
          - Pity...
          - ... -_-

You can do it !
          You can do it again !
          You can do it better !
          And above all, you can do it yourself !
          
          -Hum... Okaaaaayyy ?
          - You, shut up !
          - ...
          - Nice boy. ^-^

- I'm a White Bear !
          - What ? You are a Unicorn or a White Bear ?
          - I'm a White Bear.
          - Ooookaaaay ?
          - Yes, I'm a White Bear.
          - Okay, I enderstood !
          - Cool. Because I'm a White Bear !
          - I said : Okay, I enderstood !!
          - I'm a White Bear.
          - I KNOW !!!
          - Cool. Because I'm a White Bear.
          - ...

I'm a Unicorn !!! And you, you are a... a poo.
          Yes, a poo...
          
          Hum...
          
          But, you are my poo !
          So, the poo of Unicorn is a beautiful rainbow !
          
          So, you are a rainbow !
          That it's not cool ?
          No ? Oh, really...
          
          Okay, fuck you.

PUTA** DE BUGS DE M*ER*E DE MES COU***** !!!!!!!
          
          Comme vous pouvez le savoir, il y a maintenant énormément de bugs sur Wattpad. Alors moi qui y vais tous les jours, ben ça me fait un petit peu chier !
          
          - Amé', pourquoi flouter tes premiers gros mots et laisser celui-ci ?
          - Parce que je fais ce que je veux ma gueule !! *sort les lunettes de star et les met à son nez tout en faisant un doigt d'honneur de chaque mains*
          -A-Arrête, ça devient plus malaisant qu'autre chose en fait...
          -...