Amor Nafuka

Continuation 12
          
          I convinced myself that Daddy wasn't coming back because he had someone else. They are liars. All men. Xav. Daddy. They just play tricks. I hate them! I hate all of them! They're all the same.
          
          Mommy immediately moved me to a public school where there were no bullies. For seven years, I settled for the education in public schools because there, no one knew my life. I didn't have to hide it because no one tried to look for it.
          
          Little by little, I built my walls.
          
          I did it so I'd be ready if someone tried to enter my life again, like Xav and Daddy. So that when they tried to reach the peak, they’d know I’m different from the version of me they lied to and abandoned.
          
          But... I didn't know that no matter how tall my walls were, how strong they were, or how hard I worked to build them...
          
          Someone could still climb them. Someone could still dismantle them. Someone could still change them... someone could still change me.
          
          (It's hard tho, I need to cut one by one. I got tired...)
          

Continuation 11
          
          He had a point! Maybe Daddy will come back once his problems are fixed. When everything is okay, we can be a family again... a happy family!
          
          During my last few days there, I was never bored. Xav always made my day—sharing his stories and giving me advice that I could actually understand because he took the time to explain it to me.
          
          "Mommy said we’re going home tomorrow," I said when Mommy called for me, wanting to say my goodbyes.
          "Okay, I'll be there before you leave, Yna," he replied.
          
          Really!? He’s going to see me off at the hospital parking lot? He’s going to be with me... tomorrow, I’ll ask him where he lives so Mommy and I can visit him."Okay... I'll wait for you, Xav. Promise, okay?" I said with a huge smile. He nodded and held up his pinky finger.
          
          We made a pinky promise.
          
          But he never showed up. I waited. I begged Mommy to wait just a few more minutes, but not even his shadow appeared.
          
          He doesn't want me anymore, either...
          
          I cried during our entire ride home. I cried a lot... because I expected a lot. My anger toward him began to simmer.
          "That's her. Mommy said her Daddy found another girl, that's why she doesn't have a Daddy now..." I overheard my classmates talking on my first day back at school, and I knew they were talking about me.
          
          Daddy found another woman? Just like Xav’s Dad. But Xav said maybe Daddy had a different reason... why did he lie to me?
          
          I cried my way home that day. My classmates bullied me, and I couldn't fight back... not when my mind was so full of thoughts. I was too soft. Too sensitive.

Continuation 10
          
          Ah. So his father isn't actually gone... they just have issues. But he’s still lucky because he wasn't abandoned... while we were left behind for no reason.
          
          "Is that so? I hope your Mommy gets better," I said, smiling at him.
          
          He smiled back. "Cute," he said, pinching my cheek.
          
          I felt my heart race again. My face and neck felt hot, too.
          
          "You, too. What's your name?" he asked, still smiling.
          
          "Ynaïse," I answered immediately. I offered my hand because that’s what I was taught.
          
          He looked at my hand, took it, and shook it. "I’m Xavier, Xav for sho—"
          
          "Yna..." It was Mommy; she had just arrived. "Let's go back, I bought your meds." She approached me.
          
          "Excuse us," Mommy said, smiling at Xaver? Xavir? Anyway, Xav.
          
          I looked at Xav; he was smiling at me and waving. I just smiled and turned my attention back to the path Mommy was taking me.
          
          "You made a friend, huh? I might find out later that you don't want to leave here anymore." She chuckled, and so did I.
          
          The next day, Mommy and I went back to the garden. That’s where I saw Xav. He approached me and talked to me. Mommy gave us some time, so we shared many stories.
          
          He thinks so maturely... like an adult. Sometimes I don't understand things, but he explains them to me.
          
          "Why do you think I'm lucky to have my dad even though he's like that?" he asked me while putting a hair clip in my hair.
          
          "My father left us; he didn't give a reason..." I answered.
          
          "Maybe he left because he had to. Maybe there’s a reason he doesn’t want you to know because he doesn’t want you to get hurt. You know... for the best," he told me, his tone gentle.
          
          
          
          
          
          

Continuation 9
          
          "Bed?" he asked, and I shook my head. "Ahm... ahh! You mean coma?" I nodded.
          
          "T-three weeks..." I told him, even though he didn't ask. He made an expression... like he was amazed?
          
          "Woah..." the boy said.
          
          I wanted to ask why he was sad... before he could leave again.
          
          "W-Why..." He looked at me when I said that. "Why were you sad earlier?" I followed up.
          
          He just stared at me. He looked impressed... or surprised?
          
          "You're quite observant, cutie. You really mean to ask that?" he replied.
          
          I just nodded, ignoring his teasing because I really wanted to know the answer. Duh, I know I'm cute!
          
          "Well, my mom's in ba—"
          
          "Ahm, can we speak Taglish?" I asked, which made him laugh.
          
          It was... so nice.
          
          "Mommy is sick. And Daddy isn't doing anything about it. Daddy has 'cheating issues,'" he explained.
          
          Cheating issues? What’s that? I wore a curious expression on my face.
          
          "That’s when someone finds another wife, so Mommy doesn't want to ask Dad for help anymore. But I know they love each other. It’s just..." He stopped.
          
          

Continuation 8
          
          I ignored Mommy. I told her I didn’t want to go back to the room yet, so we just sat on a long bench near the hallway outside my room.
          
          "Sweetie, stay here for a moment, okay? I’ll buy you a drink. Don't go anywhere," Mommy said, and I just nodded. She quickly disappeared from my sight. I sat there in silence.
          
          How boring... where could that boy be? But wait, why am I even looking for him? Maybe he’s not like me... maybe he actually has a papa.
          
          "Hello," I froze when I saw the boy I was just thinking about.
          
          Up close, he was taller, more handsome, and had a beautiful smile.
          
          Hello? Hi?
          
          "I saw you earlier. Just as I thought... you're even cuter up close," he added.
          
          I felt my face heat up. I didn’t know why... but my heart started beating fast.
          
          "Sorry, am I being too 'feeling close'?" he asked.
          
          Despite my face feeling hot, I forced myself to answer. "N-No... I saw y-you earlier, too..."
          
          "Why are you here... I mean, why are you hospitalized?" he asked while watching me.
          
          I didn't know how to answer!
          
          "C-Cama?" I said, sounding more like a question than an answer.
          
          

Continuation 7
          
          They kept talking about many things, but my attention drifted away. I lost interest in the days to come. I felt like I shouldn't have woken up at all. What Mommy said hurt more than my injuries.
          
          My attention shifted from the people in front of me when I saw a boy who looked to be maybe two years older than me. The door to the room was open, so I could see him. He was standing in front of another door. He looked sad.
          
          "Mommy, can I go outside? For... for a walk?" I asked.
          
          Why was he sad? Did his Daddy leave him, too? I wanted to go to him, I wanted to ask him...
          
          "Yna... you know your condition," Mommy said shortly.
          
          "But I can walk Mommy, I've been on this bed for weeks... I might forget how to walk, Mommy," I insisted.
          
          "Actually, your daughter's right. Since she has recovered a little, you can take her for a walk..." Dr. Jane told Mommy.
          
          "Ah... okay doc. Thank you," Mommy said, though she didn't sound convinced.
          
          Mommy and Dr. Jane stepped out again. Only Mommy returned, bringing a wheelchair. She carried me to the wheelchair and fixed my bedding.
          
          She said a "walk"! But I'm just sitting! Only Mommy is doing the walking. But at least I’ll see the boy. The boy!? Where is he?
          
          "Mommy, let's go out already..." I urged.
          
          She just nodded and wheeled me out. I scanned the surroundings. But the boy was gone. Throughout our walk, Mommy was silent. I lost hope of seeing that boy again as we headed back.
          
          "Mommy, I saw a boy earlier..." I don't know why I mentioned it to her.
          
          "Hmmm?" Mommy said, her attention clearly elsewhere.
          
          Hmmm... hmph! Fine, Mommy!
          
          

Continuation 6
          
          
          "Last question, honey. Is there a part of your body that’s hurting?" she asked. I just shook my head.
          
          "Okay, very good... the nurses will stay with you until your mother arrives. So behave, okay?" the doctor said gently. I just nodded again.
          
          I lost all interest, especially since I wasn't sure what Mommy would say in response to my questions.
          
          "Honey... Yna..." That was Mommy’s voice.
          
          I looked at the door and saw Mommy in tears. She approached me and hugged me. It was a hug I didn't quite understand because it felt different.
          
          "Ynaïse... oh thank God, I thought you'd leave me, too..." Mommy cried while holding me.
          
          "Mommy... where's Dad?" I asked. I saw her face freeze.
          
          "Honey... listen to me, okay? Your Dad won't be coming home anymore. He left us... I don't even know the reason why. But... I want this to be the last time we talk about your dad. No more questions... no more mentioning him." Mommy looked at me. "W-We can live without him, baby. I can raise you..." she added.
          
          I don't understand. I don't want to... I can't do it. Why is it so easy for Mommy? Why... why does it seem like she isn't hurting? Why...
          
          "You've been asleep for three weeks, my child... we missed your birthday, but we can celebrate now... pink and purple balloons?"
          
          I shook my head. What's the point of celebrating if Daddy isn't here? He planned all of it... the balloons, confetti, cakes...
          
          "I want to go home, Mommy..." was all I could say. She went still for a moment. She nodded and left the room.
          
          She returned after a few minutes, accompanied by Doctor Jane.
          
          "Honey... we can't leave the hospital yet. We need to wait three more days," Mommy said.
          
          

Continuation 5
          
          The doctor approached me carrying a folder, a pen, and that thing... the doctor thing... the one where you can hear a heartbeat when placed on the heart.
          
          "Okay... honey, we've already called your mom. I need you to answer some of my questions, okay? By the way, I'm Doctor Jane," Dr. Jane said gently, and I just nodded. She said something else to the other nurses that I didn't catch.
          
          "What's your name?" the doctor started. Though puzzled, I answered.
          
          "Amariah Ynaïse Lefèvre..." I answered softly.
          
          "Okay, do you know why you are here?" Dr. Jane asked next.
          
          Ha?! I thought they were the ones who knew why I was here.
          
          "You brought me here even though it's my birthday, then you're going to ask me that! Da—" I couldn't finish what I was about to say when I remembered.
          
          "Where's Daddy? Where is Daddy?! We have a birthday party at the house today... where is Daddy!?"
          
          Why isn't he here now... does he really not want to celebrate my birthday anymore? Does he really not want me... or us, which is why he left?
          
          "Okay, dear... calm down. I don't know if you'd understand, but you've been in a coma for three weeks. It’s like you just slept for three weeks," the doctor clarified, her expression softening. "Your Mommy is on her way; she’s the only one who can answer your questions," Dr. Jane added.
          
          I don't understand... I slept for three weeks? What about my birthday? I didn't wake up? I didn't get to celebrate my birthday...
          

Continuation 4
          
          I tumbled down our stone stairs all the way to the first floor. My head hit something hard, I don't know what... until my vision went dark.
          
          "Yna!"
          
          "Ynaïse!"
          
          They shouted my name, but even opening my eyes was hard for me.
          
          And everything went blank...
          
          I woke up and realized I wasn't at our house. I looked around and confirmed I was in a hospital when I saw a long tube attached to my left hand.
          
          There was no one around. I tried to get up, but I couldn't move my body. So, I just laid back down.
          
          I felt a piece of paper in my palm. There was a long letter written there, but I couldn't understand it because it was in a different language—one I suspected was French—and... it was from Dad. I hid it because I couldn't understand it anyway.
          
          "Next... Amariya inais? Inayez?" A nurse entered my room, but she was looking at a piece of paper.
          
          "Amariah Ynaïse," I corrected her.
          
          She looked at me in shock. She looked like she had seen a ghost.
          
          "I thought she was in a coma?" she whispered, but it didn't escape my hearing. The nurse immediately rushed out, fast, as if it were an absolute emergency.
          
          Coma? Bed? What is that? Why am I even here?! I still have a birthday party at the house!
          
          My thoughts were interrupted when a doctor and three nurses entered my room.
          
          Huh?! Am I sick? I feel pretty okay... where is Mommy?
          
          

Continuation 3
          
          I couldn't handle Dad leaving. He said he loved us. He said he wouldn't leave us. He said we would always play after his work. He said we would go out every Sunday. Eat ice cream, cook chicken curry, and play music.
          
          But how could we do that if he leaves? How can we play if he’s far away? Who will be with Mom and me when we go out if he’s not there?
          
          I didn’t understand what was happening. But I knew he was leaving... he was abandoning us.
          
          Dad removed my hand from his clothes. Then he pulled his suitcases. He gave me a thin smile—so thin it looked forced.
          
          Does he not want me anymore?
          
          Is he tired of playing with me? Does he not want me because I don't know how to speak French? Is he bored of cooking chicken curry for me?
          
          Dad walked straight out of the room while I stood there, frozen.
          
          "If you leave us, I’m going to hate you!" I warned him. But he just kept going. I looked at Mom, but she just shook her head at me as if she had already accepted that Dad was leaving.
          
          Why was it so easy for her? But for me... it hurts so much... why...
          
          I stood up when I could no longer see Dad. I walked... until I was running. I could feel Mom’s presence behind me, following me. When I reached the top of the stairs, I saw Dad at the front door.
          
          "Daddy!" I screamed at the man by the door; he looked back at me. A look I couldn't put a name to... I immediately ran down the stairs. My vision was blurry because of my tears, but I kept going.
          
          I was looking at Dad as I went down, and I didn't notice where I was stepping...
          
          I lost my balance.