hi! i just read through the two chapters you've posted so far of your neteyam story and personally, i think your writing is much better than majority of amateur authors on this platform. i love the way you incorporate details with plot exposition and introduce characters, which is sometimes difficult to do in a first person perspective. for small critiques, your writing is a little basic and lacks some depth. there's areas to improve. one thing i would recommend is using google or a thesaurus to find synonyms for constantly repeated words, such as "said" or "asked" or "looked" since those, when overused, can make a text feel very repetitive and again, lack some depth. really easy fix, i do it all the time while writing. another thing i would recommend is finding your own kind of rhythm and writing style, like the way certain details are incorporated in described, or the way dialogue is written, how characters are described to respond in scenes, if that makes sense? i'm sure you notice how different authors write similar scenes at some point and notice the ways they write are fairly different majority of the time? it definitely comes with maturing as a writer and figuring yourself out as you consistently write and improve daily. i found my own style through time and maturing by incorporating details i've consumed from other authors and figuring out how i like to write. a good exercise is to take movie or tv show scenes and write them out the way you see them, including details and dialogue how you want it to develop your style. honestly, it's not your fault for this part and only comes with time. a new writer will not have the same unique and personally developed craft as a very seasoned writer has. it comes with experience and time, which i think with the way your writing appears now, is already developing. overall, it looks incredible and there's not much i can say about change and more about improvement. keep writing, i can't wait to see what you write next!
