"AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"
"Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F #K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F #K ya chicken strips!" 
"Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"
"...Hi Welcome to Chili's"
 "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."
Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"
 "It's a avocadooo...thanks"
 "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets" 

 "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."
"Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"
"Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick" 
"Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"
"Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read." 
 "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"
 "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"
 "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?" 
 "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!" 
 "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"
I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no" 
 "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"
"Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."
"Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?" 
"There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"
"Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"
 "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"
"Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"