Turtle ;)

Bruh

Okay so. I need to get something out of my chest. And it needs to happen now. Because I'm just frustrated. So I am being homeschooled at the moment through online classes and it's 50 bucks a month. Not that bad. But the thing is, my aunt said she would handle it and she has been for a couple months. But recently, she hasn't been able to pay for it and that's fine. I get it. But the things about that is that she didn't tell me so one day, I logged on and I couldn't access any of my courses. So I waited a few days to see if she knew and would fix that, but no. It hasn't been fixed. And you wanna know what happened? Absolutely nothing!!!! I am freaking out inside because I can't get my work done and it feels like she doesn't even give a shit! She has always treated me less than her children bencause I wasn't her kid, but are you kidding me??? This is bullshit. So their education is more important than mine right? They're going somewhere whilst I'm going nowhere because I don't obsess about school like her kids do. Like she taught them to do. Because school is so important that you need to half kill yourselves doing. Because they have straight A's they're automatically smarter than me in every single possible way. Fuck her and fuck this. All of this is fucking bullshit! And it's not like I can go back to public school either because I have to take a test proving I learned everything up until the point I'm at rn. And I can't do that because I'm behind. And I'm behind because I had to start all over again when I went to online schooling. This isn't fair at all. And I hate everything about this situation. I don't like going to school, but that doesn't mean I hate it either. Ugh. I'm bitter rn and I've been trying to stay positive, but it's hard to do that when there is always something or someone pushing my buttons. Anyways, sorry for the rant. I just can't hold it in anymore. 

Hey dudes. I just wanna talk a little about school and how it affects me. (Specifically someone with major anxiety.) Cause it's been in my head for a while and I just wanted to share. Sue me okie? 
          
          So going to school in general for me was mind numbing. (I'm in online schooling now.) Not because of the learning, but because in almost every class I had, I was forced to do some type of public speaking for literally no reason. Just cause. 
          
          And while working on those projects months in advance, I'm still anxious everyday after I find out about the presentation. So I never got any sleep and/or barely ate. It was a never ending nightmare. But I do remember my last presentation I did very vividly. 
          I went up to the pedestal and read it very robotic-like and went on with my presentation with no expression except a flew glances to the audience. It was like my brain shut off and just focused on getting it over with. It felt like a fight or flight response. 
          It didn't even feel like I was in control at that point. Something else was controlling my movement while I watched as a bystander within my own body. Afterwards, I "regained" control of my body and had to make sure I didn't fall because my legs were wobbling like crazy. I grabbed my things and sat back down at my desk having a silent mental breakdown in my corner. 

Oh my god. Ngl. I had an amazing experience with weed. Basically, I got high for the first time the other day and it was super weird. It was difficult to focus and be anxious about everything when all I wanted to do was hysterically laugh, eat, and take a nap. It was nice and well planned out.
          
           There were no expectations when I arrived at the small get together. They repected my wishes and kept it peaceful. We all had a painting session as well while we were high and it was not easy to focus on the painting xD. I was wobbly the whole night. I learned a lot about myself and my older cousin. (She was there and a fellow artist.) And we became closer because of that experience. 
          
          It was one of the best experiences I've had in my life. It was nice to just get away from my problems and my constant overthinking. I was just living in the moment. 
          
          
          Anyways, just thought I'd share. ✌ Bye! :P

Oh my god. I cannot go anywhere on the internet without almost being spoiled by the new Steven Universe Movie. I'm so tempted at this point. But 3 more days til it premieres. ;-; I can do this!!! RESIST ALL URGERS UNTIL MONDAY AT 6PM 

Ayyyyeeeeee someone is back from the metaphorical dead! :D

Someone help... ;-; I need to teach and I have no ideas on what to do for the activity or how to teach it to them. Pls help me... ;-; This freaking sucks balls!!!! UJEDJWKKCNFJEIDJDNDJDJDJFHRJD

Life is like a box of chocolates, it feels good at first, but after a while, it'll give you diabetes.

Sometimes I wish life would stop disappointing me and getting my hopes up...

Hey guys! It's ya boi. TheKingOfTurts89 back with another reaction video! :D