"This is my party, I can cry if I want to." -Pity Party, Melanie Martinez

Review for an energy drink :

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT FILL UP A "SUPER BIG GULP" CUP WITH 5 HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THING. MY HEART HAS EITHER STOPPED COMPLETELY OR IS BEATING SO FAST THAT I CAN'T FEEL MY OWN PULSE.

CONS:
I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 72 HOURS.
I CANT FEEL MY FACE.
I PEED THIS MORNING AND I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS 99% BLOOD.

PROS:
I'VE DEEP CLEANED MY ENTIRE APARTMENT.
I CAN READ MINDS.

SUPER BIG GULP=44OZ, 5 HOUR ENERGY=2OZ. THAT MEANS I DRANK 22 5 HOUR ENERGYS IN LESS THAN 2 MINUTES. 22X5=110 HOURS OF ENERGY.

GOD HELP ME.

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