Annabeth Potter

update? what happens in Italy???

Hey everyone :D please check out my new story " IHost" thanks soooo much and if you haven't read "It Dawned on Me" yet please do. I also would really appreciate that if you read it you leave a comment and that if you like it vote :D xx ✌❤ 

@LittleDuckeh 
          That's cool :D

Why? Nope just two cats. The one is always grumpy but she's really fluffy! @troublesmymiddlename 
          Though what would one more cat do?... :D

@troublesmymiddlename 
          Nice! Haha

Okay sure

Hey pretty, I need help with names, thks.

Yeah I'm gonna fix all that up when I edit I find it confusing too! Just that one chapter haha. Will edit soon :D
          I forgot to say about the money...dang it :/ @kgarst 

PS thanks for dedicating a chapter to me.  I feel honored.  

Hey, I read as far as chapter 7.  Looking at the plot only.  I like it.  I can see what is happening in my mind.  That's important.  you are doing a good job of letting the reader know what people are feeling not just what is happening.  
               A couple times I was confused.  I think in chapter 4 maybe.  I didn't understand who the people on the bridge were.  Maybe I missed something there.  In the same chapter, I wonder why I would run to a helicopter ladder that appeared from no where.  I think I might be suspicious that the helicopter had something to do with the explosions.  Maybe the helicopter should land and a person on it waves them to come to safety.  Maybe it has markings that indicate it's a rescue helicopter.  I don't know, just stuck out to me.  Remember your readers will believe anything as long as you give them a reason to.  
          Another question.  On the plane the stewardess refers to opening windows?  The boy has money for plane tickets but not for a bus ticket in town?  Maybe one quick line that says he spent all his money on the plane tickets?  Again I may not have understood.    I am going to keep following your book.  I want to find out why they needed to go to Italy.  
          I hope I don't sound like I'm picking things apart.  I'm glad that I have a couple people I trust, to critique my writing.  I'm just trying to pass along the favor.  happy writing.
             I published a new prologue in my story, Haven.  Felt like without it the first chapter was jumping in to fast.  If you get a chance I would love to hear what you think.  
          ken