It's Kim Jonghyun's birthday today. Many must remember him, and there are many who don't know him. Kim Jonghyun was a K-pop idol, a member of SHINee, and an incredibly talented and an amazing person.
He was also a human being. I felt the need to state this, because sometimes people forget that idols are humans too, and they have feelings and emotions just like us.
Kim Jonghyun was an angel, and this world didn't deserve him. It's been four years since he did suicide; four years since he left this world. I still miss him. I miss him so much, that sometimes it becomes hard to breathe. I loved him, like million other people. And I still haven't forgotten him. I remember him, I remember everything.
Nobody noticed his suffering or pain or tears. He was in so much pain, and nobody noticed it. In the end, he became convinced that there was something wrong with him, that it was his fault he was suffering. I wish I could go back in time and tell him that it isn't his fault -- He did nothing wrong, that he is loved by millions and billions, and that he isn't alone. Maybe then he would be alive today.
I know I'm digging old wounds back, and maybe many won't like me for writing this, but I needed to write this. I had to vent out my feelings.
I just want to say...
"Jonghyun-ah, I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that nobody helped you. I'm sorry that you were suffering and we didn't notice. I miss you so much. And I wish you were here. I wish I can see your smile one last time. I love you, Jonghyun, and I will keep loving you. Wherever you are, I hope you are happy and in peace."
"Jonghyun-ah, you did well. You did really really well."
I'm sorry.