I come from a family of monkey touchers. My father and his father and his father and his were all monkey touchers. It runs in the family and I love it. Monkey touching is my job. It is my life. I spend every second that I'm awake improving and bettering my family's monkey touching technique. I need to perfect to such a degree that all kinds of monkeys, from small ones to hairy ones, will run up to me and beg me to touch them. I'm Anthony and I'm a proud monkey toucher.