For me, writing is both a beautiful punishment and a chaotic gift. I love it, but at the same time I dread the thought of actually writing. Sometimes it's a total mess, literally, but sometimes some mess turns into a beautiful disaster. Yet I could never stop writing despite the never-ending ups and downs. Simply because I love and hate the idea, quite an obvious love-hate relationship. Characters sometimes leads me in a wild goose chase while some are kind enough to comply and give me clear outlook of the things they wish to happen. It's not always thrilling and exciting, but more like overthinking, panicking and worrying about everything, but sometimes sudden bursts of idea is enough to spark the dimming light in both my body and mind. Still I tend to procrastinate after all of that. Oh well, that's the reason why it's interesting and fun.