Alex

Iamgoingtoslowlykmswithstarvationwtfisthisiwanttodiealreadyfuckthisshit

Pooks is it okay if i just leave the world, I don’t wanna be here no more I’m going insane it isn’t even funny anymore. Why am i still alive

I really really really hate everyone around me, mostly my ‘friends’ but like fuck everyone to be honest. A while ago I gave my friend my account password on fb (yes we use them, sue me) and she and my other friends used my account to message our gc and the dms of one person that’s in our same gc mean shit. Like bitch I gave you my account because I trusted you but you ended up doing that? What is wrong with you? I shouldn’t have given you that piece of info if it meant that you’ll do that in the future

I AM NOT OKAY RN- I mean, I am kinda okay? but not in the sense where I actually feel like myself; I am okay physically but not mentally yknow? Anyway how does one stop feeling so fucking empty all the time, no one really talks to me anymore and i’m getting sick and tired of initiating conversations with people but when i don’t talk to them then they won’t talk to me ever again. is it my fault that you guys’ make me feel like shit all the time 

Sorry but I can’t afford to be honest with you, I can’t be vulnerable like before. I refuse to tell you the truth about my feelings because maybe you’d tell the others about them and they’ll make snide remarks about me and stuff. I can’t tell you I feel jealous because of them since they’re our friends and we aren’t even together anymore so why would I get jealous? that’s just dumb so I’m sorry if I make you overthink.

i don’t know why but i feel sad,,,, like there’s something that i’m upset about but i don’t know what it really is. maybe it’s my mind’s way of making me feel happy? or something idk. i just feel so drained all the time that i just feel sadness/emptiness whenever i’m not doing anything

who reported my message board bro, what did i do to you??? i just rant here occasionally and suddenly wattpad emails me about my mental health wtf

every time i think about km/s myself i think about my friend on ig that basically became my internet mother and think about her reaction to finding out that i died after months/years past… it keeps me from taking my own life sometimes

the day people make more male reader inserts is the day i will finally be free; i legit cannot picture myself as a woman anymore so i find comfort in those kinds of fics, idrc if they’re badly written i just want to feel comfortable in my own skin

I don’t know what to do in my anymore, not in a depressed way but more of a confused way,, like,, do i commit to being an engineer or do i just  “fuck it, we ball” and commit die