⋆. 𐙚˚࿔ Mae 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

ive been gone for so fucking long at this point yet i still do plan on updating, just constantly busy. (trying to decorate the house atm and save up money so i can move out so i’m practically living at work.) 
          
          but last night i was staying at my boyfriend’s house with his mum and sisters and i fall asleep in his room and he’s lay next to me, yanno a normal night.
          
          the next thing i know i wake up and he goes “what the fuck.” so now i’m alert and he jumps out of bed like a damn ninja and runs to open his bedroom door and there’s a fucking police man there?! 
          
          AND HES LIKE “IS ANYONE IN THERE?! I NEED TO TAKE SOME STATEMENTS BEFORE WE GO AND ARREST YOUR MUMS EX.”
          
          and i’m like THE FUCK so i pretended to be asleep when my boyfriend opened his door more so the cop could see me. 
          
          and it was the most random situation i have been in, in a while and idk wtf her ex has done.. but shit bye ex! 
          
          also ngl my boyfriend looked like a snack running to go open that door ughhhh lmao 

AHHH i’m spooked and feeling guilty :/ xx 
          
          lots of people are adding Destiny of a great king to their reading lists (thankyou btw❤️)
          
          and i’ve not updated since.. november maybe?? i’m really sorry i just haven’t been motivated at all.. work is on my ass, nearly keep getting fired and shnit due to different management, i’m now on a waiting list for my mental health which is kinda fun and spicy ig! ALSOOO i’m now with someone rOmAnTIcALLy who low and behold isn’t toxic and manipulative, he’s actually such a good person and we are now trying to get our own place, he’s just started a new job too and the hours are pure evil, so it’s been a bit hectic atm. 
          
          but i swear down i will get back into it at some point cos let’s be real gwaine is a fecking snacc and i miss his sassiness and wit, also the comments have me wheezing sometimes! also i’ve not written or read something in SO BLOODY LONG and it’s torturing me. It’s like coming down from a high with no munchies.. 
          
          anyway thankyou for reading and staying around if you stuck by❤️

oof yeah sorry i’m not ever going to read a book if i know the author speaks and communicates to their readers like utter shit, for no reason at all. 
          
          It puts me off reading the story and i know for a fact it puts other readers off too.
          
           so chile anyway so-

Being friends with insomniacs and people in different time zones is funny but mildly depressing. 

sorry i always message on here about my problems but it’s honestly like a little breather whenever i rant here, and no one reads this shit anyway haha.
          
          —
          
          I’ve been so social for the past three days, and i’ve been on discord for hours at a time for each of those days and i got forced to go in a really busy public place today, only to come back and discord+game for hours then i accidentally made someone mad in game. 
          
          and i’m so over stimulated and i can’t fuckin breath, i’m shaking and i feel like im gonna cry? Introvert hangover.
          
          my social battery was already down and everything is so over the top and stressing me out and i wanna go to sleep but i can’t and now my head hurts.
          
          rah it’s too much! i don’t get why ppl expect streamers to stream all the time when a lot of them get like me rn. it’s such a werid shitting, irritating and stressful feeling.
          
          and that was my ted talk
          

me having only a little bit of motivation so i can write enough Gwainess:
          
          me using it all on a mando fanfic: 

Please can someone give me some tips on how you relax/stay calm around new people?
          
          I’ve been invited to a lobby for a fill on among us at 5pm and we’ll also be doing a proximatiy chat. And i am so so nervous! i only know 1 person there and another person who i kinda know? i’ve only spoken to her a few times. 
          
          but i laugh and my voice cracks when i feel all awkward. And there is also a guy that full on rages and yells i’ve been told...
          
          help!! ahHhHhHhHhhHhhH 

when more people start noticing one of your books and then you start panicking cos you are a procrastinator and have no motivation because of your forever declining mental health.
          
          rah i love and appreciate you all thankyou so much xx

I’ve noticed more people voting on Destiny is a great king and BOI
          you are all making me feel bad for not updating so i swear i will do it as soon as i can.
          
          i just have to go to work and i’ll be on that shit after i scoff my face when i get home haha!
          
          thankyou so much though, was not expecting it❤️

so i’ve been singing that “ching ching ching comes the money tree, and all the good things are gonna come to me.” song.
          
          with no intention! it’s just been stuck in my head because it’s catchy! and boi i have no friends except 1.
          
          and next thing i know people have starting speaking to me i’ve made friends!!! and i got money for NO DAMN REASON I DONT GET IT HAHAHAHA
          
          THANK YOU UNIVERSE I AM GRATEFUL ❤️