Pixie_Jaes

Hi! I would just write here my recommendations since it's more convenient for me. You could delete this later if you want :)
          First, let me ask, how old are you? I have noticed certain errors and technical issues with your story and I presume that maybe it's because you're still young? correct me if I'm wrong though.
          There's certain punctuation marks that needs to be omitted and there's also parts that are lacking.
          If there's a conversation, you should put quotation marks with them to indicate that they're talking. 
          As for your first chapter, I find it a bit fast-paced and a bit redundant. Raina's continuous bragging about her being the queen isn't actually that necessary. Also, decide on what language or medium will you use for your story because it appears to be a little "conyo" for me.
          For your second chapter, I suggest that you provide details on how Raina was actually the queen. What did she do? what made her famous? or you can also give previews about the other leading man, Mark I think. 
          
          You have the idea. You just need to  be careful with some aspects. Don't worry, there's always a room for improvement. That's all!