Man don't I love it when my depression is acting up and you just start bawling in your room, longing for a hug. But you can't get one because you don't want people to know that you are still awake because you are kept up by the silence and your thoughts. You also don't want them to know you are crying because you don't want people to think that you are weak or not quite the same person they thought you to be. Oh, and man doesn't I love it when you shrug off contact even when you are longing for a hug because you might cry if you get that hug and you don't want to end up a sobbing mess in their arms. You want people to see you are hurt, but when they ask if you are ok you just say yeah because you don't want them to think anything different from what you portray. It is also amazing when people are having fun and instead of finding your own fun you sit there being jealous of the people who can be happy, genuinely happy without any doubt. Being happy without a doubt, something I dream of that will never come.