Arandomhuman135

Basically a paragraph about how I'm feeling better and ya (you don't have to read but idk love for y'all to read it concerdering Ive been making it for like twenty-thrity minutes.) 
          
          So I've stayed home for the past today (chat I'm totallyyyy sick/j) and I've cleaned, done laundry , took a shower, and done the thing I need for extra credit and honesty. I'm feeling so much better. I think I just needed a few days to just breath and not need to constantly be there and talk to people. I'm still emotionally tired but it's back to it's normal typical manageable amount. Thanks for y'all always being here though. And hey I've only got a few more years left in the hellhole known as school so I can be free of that shit soon and  then I'll be a legal adult when I graduate (my bday is at the beginning of every school year so I'll be a legal adult for most of my let year so yippie.) and once I'm 17/18 I'll have more control over my life and be able to do and have things I want (I.e. Binder, discord, TikTok, & chewy stuff to stop hitting nails n shi). And if the next years of school go like this one then it feels like I'll be done with at least high school soon. (I say as if I don't plan on possibly going to collage for writing-) I think I'm in much better of a headspace then I was the night before last and I thank the people who offered support or tired to talk and help. I think I should probably end this here concerdering it's ten almost eleven pm I've spent like thirty minutes writing this and I've got anxiety around not waking up on time and school. (It says it's going to end but then it continues to talk for the next fucking hour-) ANYWAYS NIGHT Y'ALL THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME. (Almost at the characters max chat- 1747)

You know what?
          I have not been giving you enough credit.
          I just had to do your job opening the walls because you're not here and it's a hassle.
          You're telling me you volunteered to do this every single day??
          Obsurd.

PLEASE WATTPAD LET ME HAVE MY NAMEEE. (I want my display name to be ☺︎✪!Dash/Dashie!✪☺︎ but it hates me :( )

Shoutout to the notification I got about my comment getting ten likes (it's was one like but whatever) reminding me of the time I was drinking chocolate milk at lunch and my friend made me laugh and I fucking spat chocolate milk every-fucking-where. Across almost the entire table (sorry about you food still tommy-). The embarsment I feel every time I remember that is unreal...

Idk if I clicked announce but I posted a vent if y'all have the emotional capacity to read it. Don't have too. Idk I just kinda wanna talk to someone.

Damnit I was doing so well. Why'd I suddenly have to feel so genuinely awful. I'm so tired and I feel as if Im not alive. I need at least a day I need at least a small break. I just wanna be able to have a day an just sleep and act as if I am out and just have people not try to talk to me unless I start the conversation.but I so desperately want to have human contact. It's not fair. I wish I had someone I could just talk to but to be honest I'm no ones 'number one' don't think I'll ever be either. I just wanna sleep till it's all better. I think I just need to take a minute. But I've already gone past the point I wanted to an now I can't show my legs. I wish I could just cut my hair. So that I'd been able to avoid this. I wish I looked like those people they look so cool. I wish I could be on social media and post things but I can't. I'm tired. But not physically,emotionally.

Genuinely annoyed. You made a promise ya know? Then you turn around and get upset at me when I ask you to fulfil the promise. Then say it going to take an hour when it only took me forty minutes and that was even more difficult as I had to do it myself. (Not directed to anyone on here)

Chat sorry. Uh I read an I'm bette now... Anyways Amentallyillloner on AO3 is pretty swagger uhm... Yea.sorry.

I feel like I'm spiralling again dude. But I know I just need to fucking sleep or regress/read  but I can't really cuz I read all the fuckass books that my brain specificly wants. I'm tempted to try to figure out AO3 simply for my well being bc I'm just feeling off prob I got reminded of someone who... I don't want to be reminded of. Idk I'm sorry. I'm tired and spiraling for no good reason I don't know what's going on. I just need a break but I also don't... I don't know... I'm sorry.

Js spent three hours on a project- whoops... Hopefully I wake up on time... On a separate note I finally found my keys! Yippie! I was locked out of my house for a hot minute today had to read (an actual physical published book :0, it was stranger things :3) on my doorstep for a while before I got the okay to go hang out at a friends house for a bit.