Iamyourlocalrat
Ik you are kinda iffy with me but would you mind explaining the Alien Stage lore to me? Iāve watched it 3 times now and I still donāt know whatās going on.
AriIsWriting
Iamyourlocalrat
Hey, ik you might not read this. But Iāve thought about it and I finally have my story straight.
So, about the mid-way point in 6th grade I started to cry every night. And I donāt want to sound insulting, but it was because of you. When I first staring being with C, I finally found out what love felt like, and realized I didnāt love you. But I felt bad and was juggling a lot of feelings. I never wanted to say ānoā to a confession or break-up, so I kinda just went with the flow without telling the truth. I wanted to tell you but the fear of hurting you kept crossing my mind so I kept my mouth shut.
Later, when we started playing together on Genshin, I did actually start to feel a faint flutter in my chest whenever you would respond to my chats or text me. And I DID confess with the love from the bottom of my heart.
But after a while, I had made some new friends at my new school, (also donāt wanna sound mean) I realized that they clicked with me well. Now, Iām not saying you didnāt click with me, but we did lose that connecting after the years. I grew up to be around different people, and you grew up to be around different people.
But I was still dating you. But I never had the heart to tell you I lost feelings. I tried so so so so so hard to work up the courage, but the thought of hurting you was way too much.
Iamyourlocalrat
But, I waited too long and now Iāve hurt you more than I wanted. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. But the results of me not wanting to hurt you hurt you even more. And Iām really sorry for every thing Iāve done. I was coming from a good place in my heart, but I couldāve handled the situations better. But some of this stuff was 2 years ago. And Iāve changed and become more mature. I donāt want there to be any awkward tension between us, so I just wanted to make myself clear: I donāt hate you. And I really hope you have the best life this world can give you, and Iām sorry I made a few of the years rough.
(P.S. I WAS NOT IN MY RIGHT MIND WHEN I WAS WRITING THE OTHER THINGS, I would never hurt myself because of someone. And at the time I was just upset at myself for not telling the truth.)
Iamyourlocalrat
Iām sorry. I know what Iāve done has hurt you. Iām really sorry. The things Iāve done probably will never be forgiven. But Iām glad youāve found yourself. And that youāre happy. If you need to be happy without me, thatās completely fine. I guess i wouldāve felt bad if I said āI donāt love you.ā I didnāt want to upset you more, but I also felt bad telling you the truth. Iāve found myself as well, and I wonāt mind being friends. Or nothing at all. You can hate me, accept me, or ignore me. Weāve done our part in our lives. And it IS healthy to let go. But it can be hard sometimes, and Iām sorry Iāve made it so hard. I guess Iām just sorta clingy. Anyway Iām at a sleepover and I need to do karaoke. (Send help)
Iamyourlocalrat
Answer me, please. I just want to be friends again.
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat And please, actually read this. Re-read the last big letter I sent you, because clearly what I said went right over your head. What you responded didnāt feel like an apology, it felt like you were trying to manipulate me. Of course, I donāt want you to hurt yourself, I wouldnāt wish that upon anyone, not you, not a stranger, not anyone. I recognize that you were trying to apologize to me, but that way of apologizing, trying to put yourself down for me, is not what I need. I need you to truly reflect. I need you to not put yourself down, but tell me what you did wrong. I need peace, and I donāt think Iām going to get that with you. And I donāt think I can give you what you need either. Iām sorry, I cannot take responsibility for you anymore.
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat You lost the chance to be āhappy with meā a long time ago. If you want the chance back, youāre going to have to work for it. Hard. Even if you change my mind, we will be strictly friends. And donāt think this next school year you can try to āwin me overā because you canāt. I have met someone new who makes me happy, and if you interfere with that, you will have no chance of āgetting me backā at all. I know people cannot control their attraction to others, just please donāt act on it. I donāt know how you expect me to trust you. You have changed this story so many times I donāt know what to believe anymore. I get having a bad memory, but this has affected me in ways that it wouldnāt have if I had gotten the true story, if this even is true.
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat Thanks for admitting to me that you never loved me, but having the audacity to say you do now disturbs me. Because you donāt love me, you love the old me. It has been 2 years. I have changed. My standards for relationships have changed. Iāve gotten braces, glasses, cut all my hair off, transitioned into they/them pronouns, gotten new friends, graduated from our old school, found new love, discovered new things about myself. My thoughts, feelings, emotions, world views are all different. You donāt know me, and Iām not going to pretend that I know you.
Iamyourlocalrat
Iām sorry. I I know the truth now. I was so stupid and forgot. This isnāt a lie, promise.
When we were dating, I think I got really stressed. Because I didnāt know how to date anyone, and I didnāt know what love felt like. I cried so many nights because of my confusing thoughts about you, But when I met C, (you know) I finally realized what love felt like. And i didnāt love you. But skip 2 years, when I confessed to you on Genshin, I had actually developed feelings for you. But my parents shortly found out, and because I had cried about us dating in the past, they told me to figure myself out. They just needed me to take a break. And I did. But while Iāve gone through anxiety spikes, my depression meds, and other things. I still sorta like you.
Iām sorry for not telling you the truth. It sounds so stupid; but I genuinely forgot about the past. My brain is flipped in so many ways. And Iām sorry Iāve made this confusing for both of us. My parents donāt hate you, they arenāt homophobic, they like you, and they want us to be happy together. They just donāt know how to help. Iām sorry.
Iamyourlocalrat
:3
Iamyourlocalrat
What if I invited you over?
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting Iāve done nothing but try to support you, and love you, and be there for you. And I try to tell you what I think is happening and all I get was an argument? Iām just trying to be nice. Iāve never yelled at you for anything, Iāve just wanted to be like you for as long as I can remember. Im sorry for being stupid and ugly.
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting Iām sorry for trying to fill in the gaps and make everything worse in the process. I donāt really know what happened. Iāve just been trying to fill in the blanks. Iām sorry. I guess thatās a lie? But itās notā¦.oh geez. Iām sorry. I love you. But you can hate me. Everyone does. I want judge. And I donāt wanna guilt-trip you into thinking that if you hate me, and everyone hates me, then you should be friends with meā¦ I donāt want that. You do what you want. I just wanna be friends again. Iām sorry. I never wanted this.
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting and for your final question, āwhat did you do wrong?ā Live.. Iām sorry. Iāve never been so tempted toā¦.hurtā¦..meā¦..in this long. Geezā¦.im sorry. I shouldnāt even be saying thatā¦ hah. Iām so stupid. Iām stupid. Geez.
AriIsWriting
HELLO :3
Iāll be on vacation with no internet for two weeks (April 14th to 25th)!!
Iāll be back briefly over the weekend but I probably wonāt have time to check Wattpad. Just thought Iād let yāall know <3
Iamyourlocalrat
Skibidi (Insert devious emoji)
Iamyourlocalrat
Your parents hate me :(
they literally gave me side eyes and looked down at me.
And, your mom scoffed at MY mom when she said hi :(
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat No, Iām sorry! I donā t know what was wrong with me back then. It may have been hormones, but that is NO excuse for me to be mean. When was this? Was 6th or 7th grade? I want to take full responsibility for my past actions and make it up to you. I wish they had communicated that with me or my parents, and we could have avoided this whole mess. But I know they trying to protect you. Is this the only reason they cut me off? Or was it multiple reasons?
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting I think for one month, you got super mean. I donāt know if it was HeRMoNEz but.. I dunno. My parents just want me to have a good relationship with you. But I think they believe youve changed! And they want me to be friends with you. Iām sorry-