Iamyourlocalrat
Ik you are kinda iffy with me but would you mind explaining the Alien Stage lore to me? I’ve watched it 3 times now and I still don’t know what’s going on.
AriIsWriting
Iamyourlocalrat
Hey, ik you might not read this. But I’ve thought about it and I finally have my story straight.
So, about the mid-way point in 6th grade I started to cry every night. And I don’t want to sound insulting, but it was because of you. When I first staring being with C, I finally found out what love felt like, and realized I didn’t love you. But I felt bad and was juggling a lot of feelings. I never wanted to say “no” to a confession or break-up, so I kinda just went with the flow without telling the truth. I wanted to tell you but the fear of hurting you kept crossing my mind so I kept my mouth shut.
Later, when we started playing together on Genshin, I did actually start to feel a faint flutter in my chest whenever you would respond to my chats or text me. And I DID confess with the love from the bottom of my heart.
But after a while, I had made some new friends at my new school, (also don’t wanna sound mean) I realized that they clicked with me well. Now, I’m not saying you didn’t click with me, but we did lose that connecting after the years. I grew up to be around different people, and you grew up to be around different people.
But I was still dating you. But I never had the heart to tell you I lost feelings. I tried so so so so so hard to work up the courage, but the thought of hurting you was way too much.
Iamyourlocalrat
But, I waited too long and now I’ve hurt you more than I wanted. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. But the results of me not wanting to hurt you hurt you even more. And I’m really sorry for every thing I’ve done. I was coming from a good place in my heart, but I could’ve handled the situations better. But some of this stuff was 2 years ago. And I’ve changed and become more mature. I don’t want there to be any awkward tension between us, so I just wanted to make myself clear: I don’t hate you. And I really hope you have the best life this world can give you, and I’m sorry I made a few of the years rough.
(P.S. I WAS NOT IN MY RIGHT MIND WHEN I WAS WRITING THE OTHER THINGS, I would never hurt myself because of someone. And at the time I was just upset at myself for not telling the truth.)
Iamyourlocalrat
I’m sorry. I know what I’ve done has hurt you. I’m really sorry. The things I’ve done probably will never be forgiven. But I’m glad you’ve found yourself. And that you’re happy. If you need to be happy without me, that’s completely fine. I guess i would’ve felt bad if I said “I don’t love you.” I didn’t want to upset you more, but I also felt bad telling you the truth. I’ve found myself as well, and I won’t mind being friends. Or nothing at all. You can hate me, accept me, or ignore me. We’ve done our part in our lives. And it IS healthy to let go. But it can be hard sometimes, and I’m sorry I’ve made it so hard. I guess I’m just sorta clingy. Anyway I’m at a sleepover and I need to do karaoke. (Send help)
Iamyourlocalrat
Answer me, please. I just want to be friends again.
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat And please, actually read this. Re-read the last big letter I sent you, because clearly what I said went right over your head. What you responded didn’t feel like an apology, it felt like you were trying to manipulate me. Of course, I don’t want you to hurt yourself, I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone, not you, not a stranger, not anyone. I recognize that you were trying to apologize to me, but that way of apologizing, trying to put yourself down for me, is not what I need. I need you to truly reflect. I need you to not put yourself down, but tell me what you did wrong. I need peace, and I don’t think I’m going to get that with you. And I don’t think I can give you what you need either. I’m sorry, I cannot take responsibility for you anymore.
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat You lost the chance to be “happy with me” a long time ago. If you want the chance back, you’re going to have to work for it. Hard. Even if you change my mind, we will be strictly friends. And don’t think this next school year you can try to “win me over” because you can’t. I have met someone new who makes me happy, and if you interfere with that, you will have no chance of “getting me back” at all. I know people cannot control their attraction to others, just please don’t act on it. I don’t know how you expect me to trust you. You have changed this story so many times I don’t know what to believe anymore. I get having a bad memory, but this has affected me in ways that it wouldn’t have if I had gotten the true story, if this even is true.
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat Thanks for admitting to me that you never loved me, but having the audacity to say you do now disturbs me. Because you don’t love me, you love the old me. It has been 2 years. I have changed. My standards for relationships have changed. I’ve gotten braces, glasses, cut all my hair off, transitioned into they/them pronouns, gotten new friends, graduated from our old school, found new love, discovered new things about myself. My thoughts, feelings, emotions, world views are all different. You don’t know me, and I’m not going to pretend that I know you.
Iamyourlocalrat
I’m sorry. I I know the truth now. I was so stupid and forgot. This isn’t a lie, promise.
When we were dating, I think I got really stressed. Because I didn’t know how to date anyone, and I didn’t know what love felt like. I cried so many nights because of my confusing thoughts about you, But when I met C, (you know) I finally realized what love felt like. And i didn’t love you. But skip 2 years, when I confessed to you on Genshin, I had actually developed feelings for you. But my parents shortly found out, and because I had cried about us dating in the past, they told me to figure myself out. They just needed me to take a break. And I did. But while I’ve gone through anxiety spikes, my depression meds, and other things. I still sorta like you.
I’m sorry for not telling you the truth. It sounds so stupid; but I genuinely forgot about the past. My brain is flipped in so many ways. And I’m sorry I’ve made this confusing for both of us. My parents don’t hate you, they aren’t homophobic, they like you, and they want us to be happy together. They just don’t know how to help. I’m sorry.
Iamyourlocalrat
:3
Iamyourlocalrat
What if I invited you over?
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting I’ve done nothing but try to support you, and love you, and be there for you. And I try to tell you what I think is happening and all I get was an argument? I’m just trying to be nice. I’ve never yelled at you for anything, I’ve just wanted to be like you for as long as I can remember. Im sorry for being stupid and ugly.
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting I’m sorry for trying to fill in the gaps and make everything worse in the process. I don’t really know what happened. I’ve just been trying to fill in the blanks. I’m sorry. I guess that’s a lie? But it’s not….oh geez. I’m sorry. I love you. But you can hate me. Everyone does. I want judge. And I don’t wanna guilt-trip you into thinking that if you hate me, and everyone hates me, then you should be friends with me… I don’t want that. You do what you want. I just wanna be friends again. I’m sorry. I never wanted this.
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting and for your final question, “what did you do wrong?” Live.. I’m sorry. I’ve never been so tempted to….hurt…..me…..in this long. Geez….im sorry. I shouldn’t even be saying that… hah. I’m so stupid. I’m stupid. Geez.
AriIsWriting
HELLO :3
I’ll be on vacation with no internet for two weeks (April 14th to 25th)!!
I’ll be back briefly over the weekend but I probably won’t have time to check Wattpad. Just thought I’d let y’all know <3
Iamyourlocalrat
Skibidi (Insert devious emoji)
Iamyourlocalrat
Your parents hate me :(
they literally gave me side eyes and looked down at me.
And, your mom scoffed at MY mom when she said hi :(
AriIsWriting
@Iamyourlocalrat No, I’m sorry! I don’ t know what was wrong with me back then. It may have been hormones, but that is NO excuse for me to be mean. When was this? Was 6th or 7th grade? I want to take full responsibility for my past actions and make it up to you. I wish they had communicated that with me or my parents, and we could have avoided this whole mess. But I know they trying to protect you. Is this the only reason they cut me off? Or was it multiple reasons?
Iamyourlocalrat
@AriIsWriting I think for one month, you got super mean. I don’t know if it was HeRMoNEz but.. I dunno. My parents just want me to have a good relationship with you. But I think they believe youve changed! And they want me to be friends with you. I’m sorry-