ArtikWind

No one prepares you for the experience of leaving your "loving" family for the first time for college then coming back for summer break and realizing just how toxic they are

AAAAHHHHH GUYS I MET A BOY!!! He's shorter than me and couldn't hurt a fly, as in couldn't not wouldn't, but he's cute and sweet and lets me rant without interrupting!

How I know I'm bi: I do not understand gay guys. Like why would you be attracted guys when you literally have the perfect excuse to be attracted to girls?

(overwhelming desire to be held and to cuddle) x (physical contact from ANY human at all, including myself somehow, feels like i'm being branded by a white hot poker) = (i can't wait to move out and get a dog)

Oh I'm not autistic? Let me tell you the things I got in trouble for as a kid
          1. Touching ALL. THE. CLOTHES.  whenever we went clothing shopping, because I liked the different textures. I still do it to this day.
          2. Spending hours organizing my Spotify playlists, cause I wanted them to be perfectly organized.
          3. Having about 300 songs I could name the title, artist, and original album of in the first 2-5 seconds of the song.
          4. Never cleaning my room or desk. And every time I did clean it, I could never find things for up to a month afterwards.
          There's more, but I think you get my point

You know the depression is getting bad when you're ready to scrap an entire maladaptive daydream paracosm you've spent years developing and are planning to write a book about someday, simply because you can't figure one little unimportant detail out.

"You're not autistic"
          When I was a kid I purposefully stretched out the collars of my shirts because anything touching even close to my neck made me feel like I was going to throw up. I never drank water, and lived the first 17 years of my life perpetually dehydrated, because I thought water, a tasteless liquid, tasted disgusting. I have an encyclopedia an inch an a half thick on animal species completely memorized. I can tell you more about the intricacies of the German political landscape before and during WW2 than I can about what I did yesterday. I only like social activities if there are less than 25 people, all of which I already know. I require very, VERY detailed instruction and several examples before I do any new thing. I chew my nails, flap my hands, and play with my favorite rocks. But sure, I'm not autistic.

"You can't be autistic, because I do the same thing!"
          Maybe you're autistic too?

I feel like crying. College is so complicated and confusing  and it hasn't even started yet.  Add to that my anxiety-induced paralysis and my executive disfunction, both of which you don't believe exist, and I'm barely functioning at all. I would ask you for help, but I know exactly what you would say as a response, and that is belittle my struggles and tell me to just do it. So instead I'm just going to sit here and slip into depression. Bye-bye!

The frustration of trying to create enough characters in my fantasy world to write a book some day, but all the characters I create are ocs in other people's fantasy worlds, and wouldn't work in mine.